Murderer
Original: Murderer on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (final panel of the strip): A formally-dressed man in a tuxedo (styled like a detective making a parlor-room reveal) stands gesturing, with a startled woman in a strapless gown beside him and an older bespectacled man with a mustache in the background.
Man in tuxedo: "...AND SO, REVEALING ALL THE CLUES AND TESTIMONY, THE MURDERER WAS LEAST LIKELY TO BE THE DOCTOR. HOWEVER, I WANT TO EMPHASIZE THE WIDE ERROR BARS, LACK OF AGREED-UPON METRICS FOR ANALYSIS, AND SMALL SAMPLE SIZE. ABBOTT IS SUBJECT TO PEER REVIEW. MORE RESEARCH IS NEEDED, AND I AM CURRENTLY SEEKING FUNDING."
Caption (below panel): "This is what I think of when professors say doing science is like solving mysteries."
Votey:
Speech bubble: "NOW I MUST LEAVE YOU FOR A MANDATORY LUNCH WITH ADMIN!"
(Spoken by the tuxedoed detective/professor figure, shown in a loose sketch with his head tilted back.)
Man in tuxedo: "...AND SO, REVEALING ALL THE CLUES AND TESTIMONY, THE MURDERER WAS LEAST LIKELY TO BE THE DOCTOR. HOWEVER, I WANT TO EMPHASIZE THE WIDE ERROR BARS, LACK OF AGREED-UPON METRICS FOR ANALYSIS, AND SMALL SAMPLE SIZE. ABBOTT IS SUBJECT TO PEER REVIEW. MORE RESEARCH IS NEEDED, AND I AM CURRENTLY SEEKING FUNDING."
Caption (below panel): "This is what I think of when professors say doing science is like solving mysteries."
Votey:
Speech bubble: "NOW I MUST LEAVE YOU FOR A MANDATORY LUNCH WITH ADMIN!"
(Spoken by the tuxedoed detective/professor figure, shown in a loose sketch with his head tilted back.)
Alt text
An SMBC comic. The main panel shows a detective in a tuxedo delivering a parlor-room reveal beside a startled woman in a gown and an older mustachioed man in the background. He says: "...and so, revealing all the clues and testimony, the murderer was LEAST LIKELY to be the doctor. However, I want to emphasize the wide error bars, lack of agreed-upon metrics for analysis, and small sample size. Abbott is subject to peer review. More research is needed, and I am currently seeking funding." A caption reads: "This is what I think of when professors say doing science is like solving mysteries." The joke is that a confident detective's reveal gets buried under academic hedging. Votey: the same detective adds, "Now I must leave you for a mandatory lunch with admin!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.