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News

Original: News on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Panel 1:
A man and a woman walk together along a beach at sunset. The man holds a phone.
Man: WOW. MORE NEWS. JEEZUS.

Panel 2:
Close on the two of them.
Man: GOSH. YOU EVER IMAGINE THE STUFF ON THE PHONE IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN REAL LIFE?

Panel 3:
Close on the woman, looking uncertain.
Woman: I... IT...

Panel 4:
The two walk off down the beach.
Man: ...TEACH ME YOUR WAYS.
Woman: I MOSTLY READ NON-FICTION, LIKE ROMANCE NOVELS.

Votey:
A close-up sketch of a man's worried face.
Caption: BUT I LIKE TO CHECK THE PHONE AS A REMINDER OF WHAT WE MUST NEVER LET HAPPEN.

Alt text

A four-panel comic. A man and a woman walk along a beach at sunset; the man stares at his phone. He says, "Wow. More news. Jeezus." Then, looking at her: "Gosh. You ever imagine the stuff on the phone is actually happening in real life?" She hesitates, looking uneasy: "I... it..." As they walk off, he pleads, "...Teach me your ways," and she replies, "I mostly read non-fiction, like romance novels" — revealing she treats the phone's bad news as fiction and escapist romance as her reality. Votey: a close-up of a worried man's face with the caption, "But I like to check the phone as a reminder of what we must never let happen."

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.