nitrogen
Original: nitrogen on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Teacher (a balding man with round glasses and a red shirt): "And class, did you know that half the nitrogen in your body was acquired via the Haber-Bosch process?"
Panel 2:
Teacher: "Once we could pull nitrogen out of the air, humanity gained access to unlimited ammonia, which we used to make fertilizer, TNT, and the mustard and chlorine gasses used in a variety of war crimes."
Panel 3:
Teacher (pointing upward enthusiastically while two students sit at desks watching): "Fritz Haber himself contributed to the design of these weapons, which made World War I the first war to truly industrialize killing!"
Panel 4:
An off-panel voice (a student with orange hair): "Could you do a more uplifting version of this talk, maybe with oceans or historical figures?"
Teacher (smiling): "A liiiittle bit of each of you was banned under the Geneva Protocol of 1925!"
Votey:
A close-up of a person's worried, blank-eyed face. A speech bubble reads: "WE ARE ALL MURDER-STUFF."
Teacher (a balding man with round glasses and a red shirt): "And class, did you know that half the nitrogen in your body was acquired via the Haber-Bosch process?"
Panel 2:
Teacher: "Once we could pull nitrogen out of the air, humanity gained access to unlimited ammonia, which we used to make fertilizer, TNT, and the mustard and chlorine gasses used in a variety of war crimes."
Panel 3:
Teacher (pointing upward enthusiastically while two students sit at desks watching): "Fritz Haber himself contributed to the design of these weapons, which made World War I the first war to truly industrialize killing!"
Panel 4:
An off-panel voice (a student with orange hair): "Could you do a more uplifting version of this talk, maybe with oceans or historical figures?"
Teacher (smiling): "A liiiittle bit of each of you was banned under the Geneva Protocol of 1925!"
Votey:
A close-up of a person's worried, blank-eyed face. A speech bubble reads: "WE ARE ALL MURDER-STUFF."
Alt text
A four-panel comic. A balding teacher in a red shirt with round glasses lectures a class. Panel 1: he asks, "And class, did you know that half the nitrogen in your body was acquired via the Haber-Bosch process?" Panel 2, close on his face: "Once we could pull nitrogen out of the air, humanity gained access to unlimited ammonia, which we used to make fertilizer, TNT, and the mustard and chlorine gasses used in a variety of war crimes." Panel 3, shown as a silhouette pointing eagerly upward while two small students sit at desks: "Fritz Haber himself contributed to the design of these weapons, which made World War I the first war to truly industrialize killing!" Panel 4: an orange-haired student off-panel pleads, "Could you do a more uplifting version of this talk, maybe with oceans or historical figures?" The smiling teacher replies, "A liiiittle bit of each of you was banned under the Geneva Protocol of 1925!" Votey: a close-up of a hollow-eyed, unsettled face stating flatly, "We are all murder-stuff."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.