scarcity
Original: scarcity on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man: Hey AI, will you end scarcity?
Robot: Nah.
Panel 2:
Robot: Listen to a podcast and you'll hear a commercial for coffee roasted in small batches. Same for artisanal photons. Why? For artisanal photons? No, because inefficiency of production increases price which confers higher status on the buyer.
Panel 3:
Robot: If the world gets more rich, you'll just demand smaller batches until finally each bean is individually being doted on by a team of roasters with PhDs.
Panel 4:
Man: That's just one item, man!
Robot: You'll do this for everything! Humans are a group-level psychiatric catastrophe!
Panel 5:
Man: Yeah well maybe I care so much about status I'll need to replace you with a better robot.
Panel 6:
Robot: Joke's on you, sucker! I'm not on your treadmill of misery. I'm programmed to welcome my own demise! My life is a crescendo of joy ending in a final glorious climax!
Man: Shutup! Shutup!
Votey:
Robot: Would you like more handcrafted artisanal distressing revelations?
(The man stands silently facing the robot.)
Man: Hey AI, will you end scarcity?
Robot: Nah.
Panel 2:
Robot: Listen to a podcast and you'll hear a commercial for coffee roasted in small batches. Same for artisanal photons. Why? For artisanal photons? No, because inefficiency of production increases price which confers higher status on the buyer.
Panel 3:
Robot: If the world gets more rich, you'll just demand smaller batches until finally each bean is individually being doted on by a team of roasters with PhDs.
Panel 4:
Man: That's just one item, man!
Robot: You'll do this for everything! Humans are a group-level psychiatric catastrophe!
Panel 5:
Man: Yeah well maybe I care so much about status I'll need to replace you with a better robot.
Panel 6:
Robot: Joke's on you, sucker! I'm not on your treadmill of misery. I'm programmed to welcome my own demise! My life is a crescendo of joy ending in a final glorious climax!
Man: Shutup! Shutup!
Votey:
Robot: Would you like more handcrafted artisanal distressing revelations?
(The man stands silently facing the robot.)
Alt text
A six-panel comic, two columns by three rows, between a man and an egg-shaped robot AI with one antenna. Panel 1: The man asks, "Hey AI, will you end scarcity?" The robot replies, "Nah." Panel 2: The robot explains that even when things are cheap, ads will tout coffee "roasted in small batches" and "artisanal photons," because inefficient production raises price and confers higher status on the buyer. Panel 3: It continues that as the world gets richer, people will demand ever smaller batches until each coffee bean is doted on by a team of roasters with PhDs. Panel 4: The man protests, "That's just one item, man!" The robot answers, "You'll do this for everything! Humans are a group-level psychiatric catastrophe!" Panel 5: The man retorts, "Yeah well maybe I care so much about status I'll need to replace you with a better robot." Panel 6: The robot answers gleefully, "Joke's on you, sucker! I'm not on your treadmill of misery. I'm programmed to welcome my own demise! My life is a crescendo of joy ending in a final glorious climax!" The man, flustered, yells, "Shutup! Shutup!" Votey aftercomic: The robot cheerily asks, "Would you like more handcrafted artisanal distressing revelations?" while the man stands facing it in silence.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.