app-5
Original: app-5 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (blue hair, holding a phone): Better check my flight status.
Voice (from phone): Do you want to USE THE APP?
Panel 2:
Woman: No! Just gimme my info!
Voice (from phone): Are you suuuure? We don't update the site quite as much. It's a little out of date.
Panel 3:
Woman: What do you mean?
Voice (from phone): It is run by Pag the Hunter, who can only be communicated with via shadow puppets.
Panel 4:
Voice (from phone): Pag struggles with the numerical concept of time. You must ask about your flight through the medium of storytelling.
Panel 5:
Woman: No! You're just trying to lock me into your system so you can collect my data, sell me stuff, and further turn the internet from an open network into a disconnected archipelago of controlled experiences!
Voice (from phone): You have startled Pag by shouting! Please wait 3 sunsets and try again.
Votey:
Voice (from phone): You may reduce the delay by sacrificing three pigs to Thunder-God or by using the app.
Woman (blue hair, holding a phone): Better check my flight status.
Voice (from phone): Do you want to USE THE APP?
Panel 2:
Woman: No! Just gimme my info!
Voice (from phone): Are you suuuure? We don't update the site quite as much. It's a little out of date.
Panel 3:
Woman: What do you mean?
Voice (from phone): It is run by Pag the Hunter, who can only be communicated with via shadow puppets.
Panel 4:
Voice (from phone): Pag struggles with the numerical concept of time. You must ask about your flight through the medium of storytelling.
Panel 5:
Woman: No! You're just trying to lock me into your system so you can collect my data, sell me stuff, and further turn the internet from an open network into a disconnected archipelago of controlled experiences!
Voice (from phone): You have startled Pag by shouting! Please wait 3 sunsets and try again.
Votey:
Voice (from phone): You may reduce the delay by sacrificing three pigs to Thunder-God or by using the app.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A woman with blue hair holds her phone to check her flight status. The phone keeps prompting her to "use the app" instead. When she insists on just getting her info from the website, the phone explains the site is rarely updated because it's run by "Pag the Hunter," who can only be communicated with via shadow puppets, struggles with the numerical concept of time, and must be asked about flights "through the medium of storytelling." The woman erupts, accusing the company of trying to lock her into their system to collect data, sell her stuff, and turn the internet into a disconnected archipelago of controlled experiences. The phone replies: "You have startled Pag by shouting! Please wait 3 sunsets and try again." Votey panel: a close-up of the woman holding her phone, which lights up with the message that she may reduce the delay by sacrificing three pigs to Thunder-God, or by using the app. The joke mocks how companies make their websites deliberately worse to push users onto invasive mobile apps.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.