replicant-2
Original: replicant-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A woman with light-blue hair points a gun at two identical men who stand on either side of the frame. She demands a way to tell them apart.
Woman (Sally): I can't tell which is a replicant! Whoever is the real Steve, say something only he would say!
Panel 2:
One of the two men presses his hands together earnestly and speaks.
Man (Steve): I'm not judgmental about your trashy genre romance novels!
Panel 3:
Sally, convinced, swings and punches the OTHER man in the head.
Sound effect: BANG!
Panel 4:
Sally embraces the man who spoke (Steve). A speech bubble carrying over from the punched man trails off; Sally and Steve hug.
Text (trailing from the struck man): THANK YOU SALLY, I LOVE Exception: NullPointerException at Emotion.java:42
Sally: Shhh, I love you too. Shhhh.
Votey:
A close-up of a person's face. A speech bubble instructs them.
Voice (off-panel): Now pretend you're a reclusive 18th century duke who doesn't believe in love.
A woman with light-blue hair points a gun at two identical men who stand on either side of the frame. She demands a way to tell them apart.
Woman (Sally): I can't tell which is a replicant! Whoever is the real Steve, say something only he would say!
Panel 2:
One of the two men presses his hands together earnestly and speaks.
Man (Steve): I'm not judgmental about your trashy genre romance novels!
Panel 3:
Sally, convinced, swings and punches the OTHER man in the head.
Sound effect: BANG!
Panel 4:
Sally embraces the man who spoke (Steve). A speech bubble carrying over from the punched man trails off; Sally and Steve hug.
Text (trailing from the struck man): THANK YOU SALLY, I LOVE Exception: NullPointerException at Emotion.java:42
Sally: Shhh, I love you too. Shhhh.
Votey:
A close-up of a person's face. A speech bubble instructs them.
Voice (off-panel): Now pretend you're a reclusive 18th century duke who doesn't believe in love.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a blue-haired woman named Sally aims a gun at two identical men, one on each side, saying "I can't tell which is a replicant! Whoever is the real Steve, say something only he would say!" Panel 2: one man presses his hands together and says "I'm not judgmental about your trashy genre romance novels!" Panel 3: convinced, Sally punches the OTHER man in the head with a "BANG!" Panel 4: as the struck man's words glitch into a programming error — "THANK YOU SALLY, I LOVE Exception: NullPointerException at Emotion.java:42" — revealing he was the replicant, Sally hugs the real Steve and says "Shhh, I love you too. Shhhh." The joke: the replicant's love was literally a broken line of code that crashed. Votey: a close-up of a face as an off-panel voice says "Now pretend you're a reclusive 18th century duke who doesn't believe in love," reframing the whole scene as a romance-novel roleplay.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.