always
Original: always on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title panel:
THINGS YOU CAN ALWAYS CONVINCE PEOPLE OF:
Vignette 1 (blue caption header):
Caption: THIS PRETTY CREATURE DOES SOMETHING AWFUL.
A blonde person: "DID YOU KNOW BUTTERFLIES HAVE CHAINSAW PENISES TO SLICE OPEN POTENTIAL MATES?"
Reply: "NATURE IS SO METAL."
Vignette 2 (pink caption header):
Caption: THIS OLD CHILDREN'S RHYME REFERS TO SOMETHING SINISTER:
A person (red shirt) to a bearded man (yellow shirt): "'MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB' IS ACTUALLY ABOUT TUBERCULOSIS. IT'S THE 'WHITE AS SNOW' DEATH THAT FOLLOWS HER EVERYWHERE."
The bearded man: "GOSH, LIFE WAS HARD BACK THEN."
Vignette 3 (pink caption header):
Caption: IN MEDIEVAL TIMES, PEOPLE DID BAD THING:
A person: "AND BACK THEN, THE PUNISHMENT FOR STEALING WAS A RED HOT OWL RIGHT UP THE ANUS."
A dark-haired woman in a green jacket: "SO MANY ANUSES. SO POINTLESS."
Votey:
A brown owl stands facing forward with orange feet, looking slightly worried.
THINGS YOU CAN ALWAYS CONVINCE PEOPLE OF:
Vignette 1 (blue caption header):
Caption: THIS PRETTY CREATURE DOES SOMETHING AWFUL.
A blonde person: "DID YOU KNOW BUTTERFLIES HAVE CHAINSAW PENISES TO SLICE OPEN POTENTIAL MATES?"
Reply: "NATURE IS SO METAL."
Vignette 2 (pink caption header):
Caption: THIS OLD CHILDREN'S RHYME REFERS TO SOMETHING SINISTER:
A person (red shirt) to a bearded man (yellow shirt): "'MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB' IS ACTUALLY ABOUT TUBERCULOSIS. IT'S THE 'WHITE AS SNOW' DEATH THAT FOLLOWS HER EVERYWHERE."
The bearded man: "GOSH, LIFE WAS HARD BACK THEN."
Vignette 3 (pink caption header):
Caption: IN MEDIEVAL TIMES, PEOPLE DID BAD THING:
A person: "AND BACK THEN, THE PUNISHMENT FOR STEALING WAS A RED HOT OWL RIGHT UP THE ANUS."
A dark-haired woman in a green jacket: "SO MANY ANUSES. SO POINTLESS."
Votey:
A brown owl stands facing forward with orange feet, looking slightly worried.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic titled "THINGS YOU CAN ALWAYS CONVINCE PEOPLE OF:" presenting three gullibility vignettes, each with a colored caption banner and a person confidently stating an absurd 'fact' that the listener accepts.
1) Banner: "THIS PRETTY CREATURE DOES SOMETHING AWFUL." A blonde person says butterflies have chainsaw penises to slice open potential mates; the listener replies, "NATURE IS SO METAL."
2) Banner: "THIS OLD CHILDREN'S RHYME REFERS TO SOMETHING SINISTER." Someone tells a bearded man that 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' is actually about tuberculosis, the 'white as snow' death following her everywhere; he sighs, "GOSH, LIFE WAS HARD BACK THEN."
3) Banner: "IN MEDIEVAL TIMES, PEOPLE DID BAD THING." A person claims the medieval punishment for stealing was a red hot owl right up the anus; a dark-haired woman replies sadly, "SO MANY ANUSES. SO POINTLESS."
The joke is that people will believe any confidently delivered nonsense. Votey aftercomic: a single drawing of a brown owl standing with orange feet, looking slightly worried (the owl from the medieval-punishment claim).
1) Banner: "THIS PRETTY CREATURE DOES SOMETHING AWFUL." A blonde person says butterflies have chainsaw penises to slice open potential mates; the listener replies, "NATURE IS SO METAL."
2) Banner: "THIS OLD CHILDREN'S RHYME REFERS TO SOMETHING SINISTER." Someone tells a bearded man that 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' is actually about tuberculosis, the 'white as snow' death following her everywhere; he sighs, "GOSH, LIFE WAS HARD BACK THEN."
3) Banner: "IN MEDIEVAL TIMES, PEOPLE DID BAD THING." A person claims the medieval punishment for stealing was a red hot owl right up the anus; a dark-haired woman replies sadly, "SO MANY ANUSES. SO POINTLESS."
The joke is that people will believe any confidently delivered nonsense. Votey aftercomic: a single drawing of a brown owl standing with orange feet, looking slightly worried (the owl from the medieval-punishment claim).
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.