wallet-2
Original: wallet-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Mugger (masked man with a knife): GIMME YOUR WALLET!
Woman (with blue/teal hair, pink top): AMAZING! LET ME GET MY PHONE.
Panel 2:
The woman holds up her phone, filming herself, speaking to the camera (a "Live" indicator is visible on the screen).
Woman: HEY GUYS I'M HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME TODAY BECAUSE I'M GETTING MUGGED RIGHT NOW. CLICK LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE TO HELP SUPPORT.
Panel 3:
Mugger: WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
Woman: CAN I GET YOU TO SIGN THIS WAIVER FOR PERMISSION TO USE YOUR LIKENESS?
Panel 4:
The mugger pulls down his mask, looking disturbed; the woman holds out a waiver document.
Mugger: FORGET IT, MUGGING OVER.
Woman (off-panel / reacting): NO! HEY!
Panel 5:
Mugger: BACK WHEN I WAS A TEEN, WHEN YOU MUGGED SOMEONE YOU HAD A GENUINE EXPERIENCE. YOU WERE THERE, TERRIFIED, TOGETHER. IT WAS MEANINGFUL. INTIMATE.
Panel 6:
Mugger: JEEZ, IT'S JUST PEOPLE HAVING FUN ONLINE. THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE THE PROBLEM IS WHAT'S MOST DISTRESSING.
Panel 7:
Mugger: YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DROPPING OUT. FORGET IT. I'M MOVING TO THE COUNTRYSIDE TO LIVE A TRUER, REALER, MORE WHOLE LIFE.
Panel 8 (titled "AND SO..."):
A new mugger (with a similar mask) confronts an old farmer in a hat.
Mugger: GIMME ALL YOUR COWS!
Farmer: ONE SEC. LET ME GET MY PHONE.
Votey:
Close-up of the old bearded farmer in a wide-brimmed hat.
Farmer: WHAT PLATFORMS ARE YOU ON? I RECKON WE MIGHT COULD CROSSPOST.
Mugger (masked man with a knife): GIMME YOUR WALLET!
Woman (with blue/teal hair, pink top): AMAZING! LET ME GET MY PHONE.
Panel 2:
The woman holds up her phone, filming herself, speaking to the camera (a "Live" indicator is visible on the screen).
Woman: HEY GUYS I'M HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME TODAY BECAUSE I'M GETTING MUGGED RIGHT NOW. CLICK LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE TO HELP SUPPORT.
Panel 3:
Mugger: WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
Woman: CAN I GET YOU TO SIGN THIS WAIVER FOR PERMISSION TO USE YOUR LIKENESS?
Panel 4:
The mugger pulls down his mask, looking disturbed; the woman holds out a waiver document.
Mugger: FORGET IT, MUGGING OVER.
Woman (off-panel / reacting): NO! HEY!
Panel 5:
Mugger: BACK WHEN I WAS A TEEN, WHEN YOU MUGGED SOMEONE YOU HAD A GENUINE EXPERIENCE. YOU WERE THERE, TERRIFIED, TOGETHER. IT WAS MEANINGFUL. INTIMATE.
Panel 6:
Mugger: JEEZ, IT'S JUST PEOPLE HAVING FUN ONLINE. THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE THE PROBLEM IS WHAT'S MOST DISTRESSING.
Panel 7:
Mugger: YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DROPPING OUT. FORGET IT. I'M MOVING TO THE COUNTRYSIDE TO LIVE A TRUER, REALER, MORE WHOLE LIFE.
Panel 8 (titled "AND SO..."):
A new mugger (with a similar mask) confronts an old farmer in a hat.
Mugger: GIMME ALL YOUR COWS!
Farmer: ONE SEC. LET ME GET MY PHONE.
Votey:
Close-up of the old bearded farmer in a wide-brimmed hat.
Farmer: WHAT PLATFORMS ARE YOU ON? I RECKON WE MIGHT COULD CROSSPOST.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic about social media ruining a mugging. A masked man with a knife demands a woman's wallet; she enthusiastically says "Amazing! Let me get my phone" and instead films herself going live, telling viewers "I'm getting mugged right now, click like and subscribe to help support." She then asks the confused mugger to sign a likeness-release waiver. Disgusted, he calls the mugging off and laments that back when he was a teen, mugging was a genuine, intimate, terrifying shared experience, and that the fact she doesn't recognize the problem is what's most distressing. He declares he's dropping out and moving to the countryside for a truer, realer, more whole life. In the final panel titled "And so...," a new masked mugger demands an old farmer's cows, and the farmer replies "One sec, let me get my phone" — the same modern habit has reached the country. Votey: a close-up of the bearded farmer in a wide-brimmed hat saying "What platforms are you on? I reckon we might could crosspost."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.