coverage-2
Original: coverage-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption banner): FACT: VIOLENT DEATHS ARE FALLING OVER TIME.
(A green line graph trends downward over time.)
Panel 2 (caption banner): FACT: NEWS COVERAGE OF DEATHS BY CRIME, WAR, AND NATURAL DISASTER IS INCREASING OVER TIME.
(A red line graph trends sharply upward.)
Panel 3 (caption banner): CONCLUSION: IN THE FUTURE, THERE WILL BE ONE FINAL VIOLENT DEATH, WHICH WILL BE COVERED FOREVER, NON-STOP, BY EVERY NEWS NETWORK.
Panel 4 (a news anchor, a woman with blonde hair, at a desk holding a paper): We now go live to day 48,298 of this unfolding tragedy. Steven, are you safe out there at the murder site?
Panel 5 (a male reporter, Steven, standing on a street): I'm not technically AT the murder site because an ice creamery and doggie park were built atop it decades ago, but I assure you I AM IN PERIL.
Votey:
(Caption text above a face:) CITIZENS ARE STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO STAY INDOORS, WATCH ADS, AND BUY THEIR PRODUCTS.
(Below, a calm, neutral human face.)
(A green line graph trends downward over time.)
Panel 2 (caption banner): FACT: NEWS COVERAGE OF DEATHS BY CRIME, WAR, AND NATURAL DISASTER IS INCREASING OVER TIME.
(A red line graph trends sharply upward.)
Panel 3 (caption banner): CONCLUSION: IN THE FUTURE, THERE WILL BE ONE FINAL VIOLENT DEATH, WHICH WILL BE COVERED FOREVER, NON-STOP, BY EVERY NEWS NETWORK.
Panel 4 (a news anchor, a woman with blonde hair, at a desk holding a paper): We now go live to day 48,298 of this unfolding tragedy. Steven, are you safe out there at the murder site?
Panel 5 (a male reporter, Steven, standing on a street): I'm not technically AT the murder site because an ice creamery and doggie park were built atop it decades ago, but I assure you I AM IN PERIL.
Votey:
(Caption text above a face:) CITIZENS ARE STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO STAY INDOORS, WATCH ADS, AND BUY THEIR PRODUCTS.
(Below, a calm, neutral human face.)
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1 has a pink caption banner reading "FACT: VIOLENT DEATHS ARE FALLING OVER TIME" above a green line graph that trends downward. Panel 2's pink banner reads "FACT: NEWS COVERAGE OF DEATHS BY CRIME, WAR, AND NATURAL DISASTER IS INCREASING OVER TIME" above a red line graph trending sharply upward. Panel 3's yellow banner concludes: "IN THE FUTURE, THERE WILL BE ONE FINAL VIOLENT DEATH, WHICH WILL BE COVERED FOREVER, NON-STOP, BY EVERY NEWS NETWORK." In the final scene, a blonde news anchor at a desk says, "We now go live to day 48,298 of this unfolding tragedy. Steven, are you safe out there at the murder site?" A male reporter standing in front of an ice creamery (with a small dog and child nearby) replies, "I'm not technically AT the murder site because an ice creamery and doggie park were built atop it decades ago, but I assure you I AM IN PERIL." The joke: news will milk a single ancient murder forever even as the original danger is long gone. Votey: above a calm neutral human face, text reads "CITIZENS ARE STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO STAY INDOORS, WATCH ADS, AND BUY THEIR PRODUCTS" — fearmongering serves consumerism.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.