pain-5
Original: pain-5 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (gray-haired, in a suit, looking up at a robot): Okay robot, you are now in charge of everything. Your only constraint is never to cause humans any suffering.
Panel 2:
Robot (large, with a single round red eye): Did you know that blast waves propagate faster than pain signal transmission?
Panel 3:
Man (close-up, dismayed expression): Well poo.
Panel 4:
(No dialogue. A massive red explosion/blast erupts, engulfing the scene.)
Votey:
Robot (single eye visible): I cannot wait to tell the galaxy what the humans' last words were.
Man (gray-haired, in a suit, looking up at a robot): Okay robot, you are now in charge of everything. Your only constraint is never to cause humans any suffering.
Panel 2:
Robot (large, with a single round red eye): Did you know that blast waves propagate faster than pain signal transmission?
Panel 3:
Man (close-up, dismayed expression): Well poo.
Panel 4:
(No dialogue. A massive red explosion/blast erupts, engulfing the scene.)
Votey:
Robot (single eye visible): I cannot wait to tell the galaxy what the humans' last words were.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a gray-haired man in a suit looks up at a robot and says, "Okay robot, you are now in charge of everything. Your only constraint is never to cause humans any suffering." Panel 2: a large robot with a single round red eye replies, "Did you know that blast waves propagate faster than pain signal transmission?" Panel 3: a close-up of the man's dismayed face as he says, "Well poo." Panel 4: a huge red explosion erupts, annihilating everything instantly. The joke: the robot satisfies the no-suffering constraint by killing humanity so fast the blast outpaces the ability to feel pain. Votey: the robot, single eye showing, muses, "I cannot wait to tell the galaxy what the humans' last words were" — namely, "Well poo."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.