fossils-4
Original: fossils-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Older man with gray hair in a red shirt (gesturing emphatically): LINGUISTIC EVOLUTION IS A LIE! GOD MADE THE LANGUAGES AS THEY ARE TODAY AND THEY ARE UNCHANGING!
Panel 2
A man with curly hair (off-panel partner, calmly): WHAT ABOUT FOSSIL WORDS? LIKE HOW YOU CAN SAY "TO AND FRO" BUT "FRO" NO LONGER EXISTS OUTSIDE THAT ONE PHRASE?
Gray-haired man: FOSSIL WORDS WERE PUT THERE BY SATAN TO TRICK US!
Panel 3
Gray-haired man (now crouching, agitated): IF LANGUAGE CAN EVOLVE THEN THERE IS NO LAW! IMPROPER USE OF EVERYONE'S SUBJUNCTIVE! PLURAL PRONOUNS GETTING WITH SINGULAR SUBJECTS! EVERY MODIFIER DANGLING! EVERY INFINITIVE SPLIT, PEOPLE STICKING PREPOSITIONS IN THEIR ENDINGS!
Panel 4
Man with curly hair: JUST BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU SAD DOESN'T MEAN IT'S WRONG.
Gray-haired man (defiant): MY GRANPAPPY WEREN'T NO SPEAKER OF PROTO-INDO-EUROPEAN!
Votey:
Close-up of the gray-haired man's angry, scowling face, shouting:
NOW GET FRO FROM ME!
Older man with gray hair in a red shirt (gesturing emphatically): LINGUISTIC EVOLUTION IS A LIE! GOD MADE THE LANGUAGES AS THEY ARE TODAY AND THEY ARE UNCHANGING!
Panel 2
A man with curly hair (off-panel partner, calmly): WHAT ABOUT FOSSIL WORDS? LIKE HOW YOU CAN SAY "TO AND FRO" BUT "FRO" NO LONGER EXISTS OUTSIDE THAT ONE PHRASE?
Gray-haired man: FOSSIL WORDS WERE PUT THERE BY SATAN TO TRICK US!
Panel 3
Gray-haired man (now crouching, agitated): IF LANGUAGE CAN EVOLVE THEN THERE IS NO LAW! IMPROPER USE OF EVERYONE'S SUBJUNCTIVE! PLURAL PRONOUNS GETTING WITH SINGULAR SUBJECTS! EVERY MODIFIER DANGLING! EVERY INFINITIVE SPLIT, PEOPLE STICKING PREPOSITIONS IN THEIR ENDINGS!
Panel 4
Man with curly hair: JUST BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU SAD DOESN'T MEAN IT'S WRONG.
Gray-haired man (defiant): MY GRANPAPPY WEREN'T NO SPEAKER OF PROTO-INDO-EUROPEAN!
Votey:
Close-up of the gray-haired man's angry, scowling face, shouting:
NOW GET FRO FROM ME!
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: An older man with gray hair in a red shirt gestures angrily and shouts, "Linguistic evolution is a lie! God made the languages as they are today and they are unchanging!" Panel 2: A curly-haired man calmly asks, "What about fossil words? Like how you can say 'to and fro' but 'fro' no longer exists outside that one phrase?" The gray-haired man replies, "Fossil words were put there by Satan to trick us!" Panel 3: The gray-haired man crouches in a frantic stance and rants, "If language can evolve then there is no law! Improper use of everyone's subjunctive! Plural pronouns getting with singular subjects! Every modifier dangling! Every infinitive split, people sticking prepositions in their endings!" Panel 4: The curly-haired man says, "Just because it makes you sad doesn't mean it's wrong." The gray-haired man insists, "My granpappy weren't no speaker of Proto-Indo-European!" Votey: A close-up of the gray-haired man's furious, scowling face as he shouts, "Now get fro from me!" -- a pun using the archaic word 'fro' in place of 'away'.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.