hatero

A seven-panel comic. A man with orange hair excitedly announces to a woman that he has discovered a pattern: take any sexual-orientation word, change its first vowel, and you get a 'new' category. He rattles off nonsense variants of 'heterosexual' (hateroseuxal, hiteroseuxal, etc.) with invented definitions like 'likes hit songs' and 'likes huts.' The woman asks what he's doing. He keeps going, increasingly manic, through 'pansexual/pensexual/pinsexual...' ('OHMYGOD'), then 'homosexual' variants ('WHAT IS HAPPENING!'), then 'twank/twenk/twink/twonk/twunk,' declaring 'I don't know what they mean but they're obviously sex words.' By the end both characters are screaming 'AAAAAAAA!' with mouths wide open. The votey is a mock dictionary entry defining 'PONS, NOUN: a broad mass of chiefly transverse nerve fibers in the mammalian brain stem lying ventral to the cerebellum at the anterior end of the medulla oblongata (merriam-webster.com)' — implying 'ponsexual' is, in fact, a real word for something completely unrelated.