bot
Original: bot on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man with flame-like red hair, raising a fist, shouts.
Red-haired man: ROBOTS WILL NOT TAKE OUR LIVELIHOODS! WE WILL RISE UP AND DESTROY THE MACHINERY OF OUR SUBJUGATION!
Panel 2: A bald scientist with glasses stands behind the red-haired man.
Scientist: SORRY, YOU'VE BEEN REPLACED.
Red-haired man: WHAT?
Panel 3: The scientist explains.
Scientist: WE'VE CREATED AN ARTIFICIAL LUDDITE. IT CAN FIGHT TECHNOLOGICAL ENCROACHMENT INTO MIDDLE CLASS JOBS 24 HOURS A DAY -- NO REST, NO SLEEP, NO VACATION, AND IT WORKS FOR FREE.
Panel 4: The red-haired man responds, somewhat hopeful.
Red-haired man: WOW. WOW! SO I CAN JUST STAY HOME AND WATCH MOVIES ALL DAY?
Scientist: NO NEED, WE HAVE A ROBOT THAT CAN INGEST THE ENTIRE CINEMATIC CORPUS IN 37 MINUTES.
Panel 5: The scientist stands beside a small robot on a workbench.
Scientist: I'M HAVING A CRISIS OF MEANING.
Panel 6: The scientist continues, gesturing at the robot.
Scientist: NOT A VERY EFFICIENT ONE! OUR CRISIS OF MEANING BOT IS CAPABLE OF PERCEIVING ITS INSIGNIFICANCE AS PHYSICAL PAIN AT FOUR-TRILLION TIMES THE TYPICAL HUMAN RATE.
Panel 7: The little robot screams.
Robot: AAAAAAAAAAA
Robot (small label near it): beep
Panel 8: The red-haired man looks on as the scientist speaks.
Scientist: WOW, THE PRIMAL SCREAM ROBOT IS WORKING OUT GREAT!
Panel 9: Close-up of the red-haired man screaming in distress, jagged orange burst behind him.
Red-haired man: AAAAAAA
Panel 10: The scene pulls back -- the red-haired man, now slumped, sits next to the bald scientist, who has a wide unsettling smile and holds a small device.
Votey:
A jagged, scratchy close-up of a face (a triangular pointed nose/jaw) with a clenched, pained expression.
Text: THAAANKS
Red-haired man: ROBOTS WILL NOT TAKE OUR LIVELIHOODS! WE WILL RISE UP AND DESTROY THE MACHINERY OF OUR SUBJUGATION!
Panel 2: A bald scientist with glasses stands behind the red-haired man.
Scientist: SORRY, YOU'VE BEEN REPLACED.
Red-haired man: WHAT?
Panel 3: The scientist explains.
Scientist: WE'VE CREATED AN ARTIFICIAL LUDDITE. IT CAN FIGHT TECHNOLOGICAL ENCROACHMENT INTO MIDDLE CLASS JOBS 24 HOURS A DAY -- NO REST, NO SLEEP, NO VACATION, AND IT WORKS FOR FREE.
Panel 4: The red-haired man responds, somewhat hopeful.
Red-haired man: WOW. WOW! SO I CAN JUST STAY HOME AND WATCH MOVIES ALL DAY?
Scientist: NO NEED, WE HAVE A ROBOT THAT CAN INGEST THE ENTIRE CINEMATIC CORPUS IN 37 MINUTES.
Panel 5: The scientist stands beside a small robot on a workbench.
Scientist: I'M HAVING A CRISIS OF MEANING.
Panel 6: The scientist continues, gesturing at the robot.
Scientist: NOT A VERY EFFICIENT ONE! OUR CRISIS OF MEANING BOT IS CAPABLE OF PERCEIVING ITS INSIGNIFICANCE AS PHYSICAL PAIN AT FOUR-TRILLION TIMES THE TYPICAL HUMAN RATE.
Panel 7: The little robot screams.
Robot: AAAAAAAAAAA
Robot (small label near it): beep
Panel 8: The red-haired man looks on as the scientist speaks.
Scientist: WOW, THE PRIMAL SCREAM ROBOT IS WORKING OUT GREAT!
Panel 9: Close-up of the red-haired man screaming in distress, jagged orange burst behind him.
Red-haired man: AAAAAAA
Panel 10: The scene pulls back -- the red-haired man, now slumped, sits next to the bald scientist, who has a wide unsettling smile and holds a small device.
Votey:
A jagged, scratchy close-up of a face (a triangular pointed nose/jaw) with a clenched, pained expression.
Text: THAAANKS
Alt text
A ten-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired man shakes his fist and shouts that robots will not take their livelihoods and that they will destroy the machinery of their subjugation. A bald scientist tells him, 'Sorry, you've been replaced,' and explains they've created an Artificial Luddite that fights technological encroachment 24 hours a day with no rest, no pay, and no vacation. The man brightens: 'So I can just stay home and watch movies all day?' The scientist says no -- they have a robot that can ingest the entire cinematic corpus in 37 minutes. The scientist then says 'I'm having a crisis of meaning,' but clarifies it's their Crisis of Meaning Bot, a small robot capable of perceiving its own insignificance as physical pain at four-trillion times the human rate. The tiny robot screams 'AAAAA' (with a small 'beep'). The scientist cheerfully says, 'Wow, the primal scream robot is working out great!' as the red-haired man, having grasped the implication, screams in horror against a jagged orange burst, then sits slumped and broken beside the grinning scientist. Votey: a scratchy, distorted close-up of a clenched, pained face with the word 'THAAANKS.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.