after-2
Original: after-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (with orange/red hair): God, why do we seek status beyond what's desirable? Why do we care for strangers to believe we are clever, or wise, or rich?
God (yellow voice box): It's totally rational.
Panel 2:
God: Because evolution designed us to seek status to acquire mates?
God (yellow voice box): Nah.
Panel 3:
God: Because after you die, every time someone says your name you get a free drink ticket in the afterlife.
Panel 4:
God: Shakespeare's running a goddamned liquor firehose up here.
Panel 5 (man's profile, no dialogue):
Panel 6 (man stands small and silent, no dialogue):
Panel 7:
Man: Hemingway must be loving it.
God (yellow voice box): He's in hell but VERY popular.
Votey:
God (yellow voice box): Gosh it just sounds great down there.
Man (with orange/red hair): God, why do we seek status beyond what's desirable? Why do we care for strangers to believe we are clever, or wise, or rich?
God (yellow voice box): It's totally rational.
Panel 2:
God: Because evolution designed us to seek status to acquire mates?
God (yellow voice box): Nah.
Panel 3:
God: Because after you die, every time someone says your name you get a free drink ticket in the afterlife.
Panel 4:
God: Shakespeare's running a goddamned liquor firehose up here.
Panel 5 (man's profile, no dialogue):
Panel 6 (man stands small and silent, no dialogue):
Panel 7:
Man: Hemingway must be loving it.
God (yellow voice box): He's in hell but VERY popular.
Votey:
God (yellow voice box): Gosh it just sounds great down there.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A young man with orange hair, drawn in profile, stands talking to a glowing purple deity figure (God), whose lines appear in yellow rounded speech boxes. The man asks God why we seek status beyond what's desirable, and why we care whether strangers think we're clever, wise, or rich. God replies 'It's totally rational.' The man guesses it's because evolution designed us to seek status to acquire mates; God says 'Nah.' God explains the real reason: after you die, every time someone says your name you get a free drink ticket in the afterlife, and 'Shakespeare's running a goddamned liquor firehose up here.' In two silent panels the man stands listening. He then remarks, 'Hemingway must be loving it,' and God answers, 'He's in hell but VERY popular.' Votey (aftercomic): a lone yellow speech box from God against an empty panel reads, 'Gosh it just sounds great down there.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.