candy
Original: candy on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Witch (silhouetted in the doorway of a gingerbread house): COME INTO MY HOUSE OF CANNNNDY LITTLE CHILDREN.
Panel 2:
Child (a kid with blond bowl-cut hair): WHAT KINDA CANDY?
Panel 3:
Witch (green-skinned, in a pointed hat): BLACK LICORICE! TURKISH DELIGHT! LEMON DROPS! THOSE CHALKY MINT THINGS!
Panel 4:
Child (a kid with blond braided hair, standing with the other child): DO YOU HAVE REESE'S? OR HARRY POTTER JELLY BEANS?
Panel 5:
Witch (poking her head out the door): NO! I HAVE THE CLASSICS!
Panel 6:
Child (walking away with the other child): FORGET IT. WE'RE GONNA GET FATTENED BY SOME WITCH WITH NAME-BRAND CANDY.
Panel 7:
Witch (calling from the doorway of her gingerbread house as the children walk off): COME BACK! PLEASE! I HAVE RAISIN BRITTLE!
Child (one of the departing kids): YOU DESERVE YOUR STRUGGLES.
Votey:
A man in a fedora and coat, looking weary and downcast: CONSUMERISM HAS WRECKED EVERYTHING.
Witch (silhouetted in the doorway of a gingerbread house): COME INTO MY HOUSE OF CANNNNDY LITTLE CHILDREN.
Panel 2:
Child (a kid with blond bowl-cut hair): WHAT KINDA CANDY?
Panel 3:
Witch (green-skinned, in a pointed hat): BLACK LICORICE! TURKISH DELIGHT! LEMON DROPS! THOSE CHALKY MINT THINGS!
Panel 4:
Child (a kid with blond braided hair, standing with the other child): DO YOU HAVE REESE'S? OR HARRY POTTER JELLY BEANS?
Panel 5:
Witch (poking her head out the door): NO! I HAVE THE CLASSICS!
Panel 6:
Child (walking away with the other child): FORGET IT. WE'RE GONNA GET FATTENED BY SOME WITCH WITH NAME-BRAND CANDY.
Panel 7:
Witch (calling from the doorway of her gingerbread house as the children walk off): COME BACK! PLEASE! I HAVE RAISIN BRITTLE!
Child (one of the departing kids): YOU DESERVE YOUR STRUGGLES.
Votey:
A man in a fedora and coat, looking weary and downcast: CONSUMERISM HAS WRECKED EVERYTHING.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic in a fairy-tale forest. A green-skinned witch beckons from the doorway of a gingerbread candy house: 'Come into my house of cannnndy little children.' A blond child asks 'What kinda candy?' The witch lists 'Black licorice! Turkish delight! Lemon drops! Those chalky mint things!' The children ask if she has Reese's or Harry Potter jelly beans. The witch insists 'No! I have the classics!' Unimpressed, a child says 'Forget it. We're gonna get fattened by some witch with name-brand candy,' and the kids walk away. In the final panel the witch desperately calls from her doorway, 'Come back! Please! I have raisin brittle!' while a departing child coldly replies, 'You deserve your struggles.' Votey aftercomic: a black-and-white close-up of a glum man in a fedora and overcoat lamenting, 'Consumerism has wrecked everything.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.