brand
Original: brand on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man with orange/flame-like hair: Do you want some cheese?
Woman with dark hair: OMYGOD I LOVE PRE-DIGESTED FOODS!
Panel 2:
Man with orange hair: What?
Woman with dark hair: MOST FOOD IS A SCAM. WHY WASTE MY PRECIOUS GASTRIC JUICES ON ANYTHING CRUNCHY OR TOUGH OR FIBROUS?
Panel 3:
Woman with dark hair: YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT BUD!™ YOU'VE ALWAYS HELPED ME WITH MY GOAL TO BE YOUR BEST BEING™
Panel 4 (final, wide):
(The orange-haired man and the dark-haired woman sit together. The woman holds up a phone playing a video of the man; an on-screen caption on the video reads "Mad about Dad parenting." She wears a yellow shirt printed with "BYBB!")
Caption beneath panel: The personal branding movement took final possession of our interiority so slowly that nobody retained the ability to self-assess their way out.
Votey:
A hand-lettered sign reads:
CREATE YOUR OWN CORPORATE WELLNESS SLOGAN! PICK ANY TWO WORDS AND ADD "YOUR" BETWEEN THEM:
Column 1: OWN, MAKE, WOW!, GREAT, LOVE, SELF, ALWAYS
Column 2: NOW, YUM, BEST, TODAY, STRONG, BE, DO
Column 3: FEEL, YOU, REAL, TRUTH, YES, LIVE, FIND
Man with orange/flame-like hair: Do you want some cheese?
Woman with dark hair: OMYGOD I LOVE PRE-DIGESTED FOODS!
Panel 2:
Man with orange hair: What?
Woman with dark hair: MOST FOOD IS A SCAM. WHY WASTE MY PRECIOUS GASTRIC JUICES ON ANYTHING CRUNCHY OR TOUGH OR FIBROUS?
Panel 3:
Woman with dark hair: YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT BUD!™ YOU'VE ALWAYS HELPED ME WITH MY GOAL TO BE YOUR BEST BEING™
Panel 4 (final, wide):
(The orange-haired man and the dark-haired woman sit together. The woman holds up a phone playing a video of the man; an on-screen caption on the video reads "Mad about Dad parenting." She wears a yellow shirt printed with "BYBB!")
Caption beneath panel: The personal branding movement took final possession of our interiority so slowly that nobody retained the ability to self-assess their way out.
Votey:
A hand-lettered sign reads:
CREATE YOUR OWN CORPORATE WELLNESS SLOGAN! PICK ANY TWO WORDS AND ADD "YOUR" BETWEEN THEM:
Column 1: OWN, MAKE, WOW!, GREAT, LOVE, SELF, ALWAYS
Column 2: NOW, YUM, BEST, TODAY, STRONG, BE, DO
Column 3: FEEL, YOU, REAL, TRUTH, YES, LIVE, FIND
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. A man with orange, flame-like hair offers a woman with dark hair some cheese. She gushes, "OMYGOD I LOVE PRE-DIGESTED FOODS!" When he says "What?" she explains that most food is a scam and she won't waste her precious gastric juices on anything crunchy, tough, or fibrous. She then thanks him, saying "YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT BUD!(trademark) YOU'VE ALWAYS HELPED ME WITH MY GOAL TO BE YOUR BEST BEING(trademark)." In the final wide panel the two sit together; the woman wears a yellow shirt reading "BYBB!" and holds up a phone playing a personal-brand video of the man captioned "Mad about Dad parenting." A caption beneath reads: "The personal branding movement took final possession of our interiority so slowly that nobody retained the ability to self-assess their way out." The votey is a hand-lettered sign titled "CREATE YOUR OWN CORPORATE WELLNESS SLOGAN! PICK ANY TWO WORDS AND ADD 'YOUR' BETWEEN THEM," listing three columns of words (e.g. OWN, MAKE, WOW!, NOW, YUM, BEST, FEEL, YOU, TRUTH) so the reader can mix-and-match an empty wellness slogan.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.