fix-2
Original: fix-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man with curly hair (excited): So, my friends and I are working on a startup to fix social media.
Man holding a phone (alarmed): No! No!
Panel 2:
Man with curly hair: Social media is like taking every insight from every philosophical system about how to be content and throwing it in reverse!
Panel 3:
Man with curly hair: Trying to fix social media is like trying to fix setting-your-hair-on-fire. You can change WHO is setting your hair on fire, or HOW MUCH they're setting you on fire, but you are STILL DYING!
Panel 4:
Man with curly hair: What if we encouraged local communities?
A mustached man (enthusiastic): We had those for free for 200,000 years!
Votey:
Caption (in a speech bubble at the top): Why can't platforms just focus on being gayer, like Tumblr?
(Below: a close-up drawing of a face with raised eyebrows, looking unimpressed/deadpan, with stylized flowing hair.)
Man with curly hair (excited): So, my friends and I are working on a startup to fix social media.
Man holding a phone (alarmed): No! No!
Panel 2:
Man with curly hair: Social media is like taking every insight from every philosophical system about how to be content and throwing it in reverse!
Panel 3:
Man with curly hair: Trying to fix social media is like trying to fix setting-your-hair-on-fire. You can change WHO is setting your hair on fire, or HOW MUCH they're setting you on fire, but you are STILL DYING!
Panel 4:
Man with curly hair: What if we encouraged local communities?
A mustached man (enthusiastic): We had those for free for 200,000 years!
Votey:
Caption (in a speech bubble at the top): Why can't platforms just focus on being gayer, like Tumblr?
(Below: a close-up drawing of a face with raised eyebrows, looking unimpressed/deadpan, with stylized flowing hair.)
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A man with curly hair enthusiastically tells a friend, 'So, my friends and I are working on a startup to fix social media.' The friend, holding a phone, recoils and shouts, 'No! No!' Panel 2: The curly-haired man, now wide-eyed and intense, declares, 'Social media is like taking every insight from every philosophical system about how to be content and throwing it in reverse!' Panel 3: He continues, increasingly worked up, 'Trying to fix social media is like trying to fix setting-your-hair-on-fire. You can change WHO is setting your hair on fire, or HOW MUCH they're setting you on fire, but you are STILL DYING!' Panel 4: The friend asks, 'What if we encouraged local communities?' A mustached man replies cheerfully, 'We had those for free for 200,000 years!' Votey (aftercomic): A speech bubble reads, 'Why can't platforms just focus on being gayer, like Tumblr?' Below it is a deadpan close-up of a face with raised eyebrows and flowing stylized hair, looking skeptical.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.