gills
Original: gills on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (single panel):
Two police officers stand on a beach beside a body of water, looking down at something off-panel in front of them. One officer (a Black man) calls out, the other (a woman) looks down skeptically.
Officer (off-panel/first speaker): CHRIST. DID ANY KIDS SEE IT?
Female officer: WHY CAN'T THEY JUST PLUG THEIR GILLS OR SOMETHING? WHY THEY GOTTA FLOP UP HERE?
Caption (below panel): Every few years, a mermaid dies attempting autoerotic asphyxiation.
Votey:
A close-up of a person's face (drawn in a rough black-and-white sketch style) with a grim, unsettled expression, looking down.
Person: OH SHIT. IT'S BREATHING. IT'S STARTING AT ME. THIS IS A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE.
Two police officers stand on a beach beside a body of water, looking down at something off-panel in front of them. One officer (a Black man) calls out, the other (a woman) looks down skeptically.
Officer (off-panel/first speaker): CHRIST. DID ANY KIDS SEE IT?
Female officer: WHY CAN'T THEY JUST PLUG THEIR GILLS OR SOMETHING? WHY THEY GOTTA FLOP UP HERE?
Caption (below panel): Every few years, a mermaid dies attempting autoerotic asphyxiation.
Votey:
A close-up of a person's face (drawn in a rough black-and-white sketch style) with a grim, unsettled expression, looking down.
Person: OH SHIT. IT'S BREATHING. IT'S STARTING AT ME. THIS IS A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE.
Alt text
A single-panel SMBC comic. Two police officers in dark uniforms stand on a sandy beach beside a calm body of water, both looking down at something on the ground just off the bottom of the panel. A Black male officer calls out, "Christ. Did any kids see it?" The female officer beside him says skeptically, "Why can't they just plug their gills or something? Why they gotta flop up here?" A caption below reads: "Every few years, a mermaid dies attempting autoerotic asphyxiation." The joke: the officers are treating a dead mermaid on the beach as a mundane, slightly annoying recurring incident. Votey (bonus panel): a rough black-and-white close-up of a grimacing person's face looking down in horror, saying, "Oh shit. It's breathing. It's starting at me. This is a thousand times worse." ("starting" is a typo for "staring" in the original.)
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.