perch
Original: perch on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (upper left): A butler in a tuxedo (Alfred) speaks to a masked, caped vigilante in a dark costume.
Alfred: "...there's a god-like criminal psychopath with an army of henchmen. You'd better go solo, alone, wearing a bright yellow logo on your chest."
Panel 2 (upper right): Close-up of the masked vigilante.
Vigilante: "Thank you, Alfred."
Panel 3 (lower left): The butler again.
Alfred: "Yes sir. Remember to perch dramatically on ledges whenever possible."
Caption box (bottom): "Comic Book Fun Fact: Alfred has been trying to get Bruce Wayne killed for 70 years."
Votey:
A close-up of the butler (Alfred), eyes downcast, looking weary/regretful.
Alfred: "The police have notified the entire city with a searchlight projecting your logo, sir."
Alfred: "...there's a god-like criminal psychopath with an army of henchmen. You'd better go solo, alone, wearing a bright yellow logo on your chest."
Panel 2 (upper right): Close-up of the masked vigilante.
Vigilante: "Thank you, Alfred."
Panel 3 (lower left): The butler again.
Alfred: "Yes sir. Remember to perch dramatically on ledges whenever possible."
Caption box (bottom): "Comic Book Fun Fact: Alfred has been trying to get Bruce Wayne killed for 70 years."
Votey:
A close-up of the butler (Alfred), eyes downcast, looking weary/regretful.
Alfred: "The police have notified the entire city with a searchlight projecting your logo, sir."
Alt text
A three-panel comic in a Batman parody. A tuxedoed butler (Alfred) advises a masked caped vigilante, telling him there's a god-like criminal psychopath with an army of henchmen, so he should go solo and alone while wearing a bright yellow logo on his chest. The vigilante replies, "Thank you, Alfred." The butler adds, "Yes sir. Remember to perch dramatically on ledges whenever possible." A caption reads: "Comic Book Fun Fact: Alfred has been trying to get Bruce Wayne killed for 70 years." The joke is that Alfred's seemingly loyal advice is actually a covert decades-long attempt to get his employer killed by making him as visible and vulnerable as possible. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the weary, downcast butler saying, "The police have notified the entire city with a searchlight projecting your logo, sir" — another absurdly self-sabotaging tactic dressed up as a status update.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.