service-3
Original: service-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Interviewer (a woman with dark hair at a desk): SO, WHAT MAKES YOU WANT TO WORK FOR THIS COMPANY?
Panel 2:
Applicant (a woman with blonde hair): IN MY PAST LIFE I WAS A SERIAL MURDERER WHO KEPT VICTIMS IN A DARKENED BASEMENT ALONE FOR YEARS AT A TIME.
Panel 3:
Applicant: AS PENANCE, I WISH TO ENDURE A LIFETIME IN DATABASE MANAGEMENT.
Panel 4:
Interviewer: WELL 20% OF YOUR TIME WOULD BE CUSTOMER SERVICE.
Applicant: I WASN'T THAT BAD.
Bottom caption: THIS BONUS UPDATE BROUGHT TO YOU BY BUYERS OF BEA WOLF, MY NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL, WHICH FRICKIN NEIL GAIMAN SAYS IS 'GLORIOUS, ACCURATE, PROFOUNDLY SILLY AND HILARIOUSLY PROFOUND.'
CLICK TO SEE MORE!
Votey:
The blonde applicant (close-up, looking pensive/regretful): I DIDN'T SERIAL MURDER EVERYONE.
Interviewer (a woman with dark hair at a desk): SO, WHAT MAKES YOU WANT TO WORK FOR THIS COMPANY?
Panel 2:
Applicant (a woman with blonde hair): IN MY PAST LIFE I WAS A SERIAL MURDERER WHO KEPT VICTIMS IN A DARKENED BASEMENT ALONE FOR YEARS AT A TIME.
Panel 3:
Applicant: AS PENANCE, I WISH TO ENDURE A LIFETIME IN DATABASE MANAGEMENT.
Panel 4:
Interviewer: WELL 20% OF YOUR TIME WOULD BE CUSTOMER SERVICE.
Applicant: I WASN'T THAT BAD.
Bottom caption: THIS BONUS UPDATE BROUGHT TO YOU BY BUYERS OF BEA WOLF, MY NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL, WHICH FRICKIN NEIL GAIMAN SAYS IS 'GLORIOUS, ACCURATE, PROFOUNDLY SILLY AND HILARIOUSLY PROFOUND.'
CLICK TO SEE MORE!
Votey:
The blonde applicant (close-up, looking pensive/regretful): I DIDN'T SERIAL MURDER EVERYONE.
Alt text
A four-panel comic set in a job interview. Panel 1: a dark-haired woman interviewer at a desk asks a blonde applicant, "So, what makes you want to work for this company?" Panel 2: the blonde applicant replies, "In my past life I was a serial murderer who kept victims in a darkened basement alone for years at a time." Panel 3: she continues, "As penance, I wish to endure a lifetime in database management." Panel 4: the interviewer says, "Well 20% of your time would be customer service," and the applicant, looking taken aback, protests, "I wasn't THAT bad." A caption below promotes the graphic novel Bea Wolf, quoting Neil Gaiman's praise. The votey (bonus panel) shows a close-up of the blonde applicant looking pensive and qualifying herself: "I didn't serial murder everyone."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.