starving
Original: starving on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (red hair): Is it moral to steal bread to feed starving people?
Man (in bed): Depends on the outcome.
Panel 2:
Man: Humans believe morality is a kind of floating stuff that inhabits situations and people, but actually we're just guessing what society would think of us and how that affects our chance for power and sex.
Man (continuing): If stealing bread to feed people gets me shamed or jailed or both, I'll decide it's immoral. If stealing bread makes me a modern Robin Hood, I'll decide I had no choice but to do the right thing, and I will do my best to make sure pretty girls everywhere find out about it.
Panel 3:
Woman: I... I kinda feel like your entire theory is immoral?
Man: Cool sexy immoral, or social pariah immoral?
Votey:
Voice (off-panel): Hey, you mind if I harvest your organs to save five lives?
(A man lies in bed, eyes open, looking uneasy.)
Woman (red hair): Is it moral to steal bread to feed starving people?
Man (in bed): Depends on the outcome.
Panel 2:
Man: Humans believe morality is a kind of floating stuff that inhabits situations and people, but actually we're just guessing what society would think of us and how that affects our chance for power and sex.
Man (continuing): If stealing bread to feed people gets me shamed or jailed or both, I'll decide it's immoral. If stealing bread makes me a modern Robin Hood, I'll decide I had no choice but to do the right thing, and I will do my best to make sure pretty girls everywhere find out about it.
Panel 3:
Woman: I... I kinda feel like your entire theory is immoral?
Man: Cool sexy immoral, or social pariah immoral?
Votey:
Voice (off-panel): Hey, you mind if I harvest your organs to save five lives?
(A man lies in bed, eyes open, looking uneasy.)
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired woman and a man are lying together in bed. Panel 1: The woman asks, "Is it moral to steal bread to feed starving people?" The man replies, "Depends on the outcome." Panel 2: The man explains, "Humans believe morality is a kind of floating stuff that inhabits situations and people, but actually we're just guessing what society would think of us and how that affects our chance for power and sex." He continues, "If stealing bread to feed people gets me shamed or jailed or both, I'll decide it's immoral. If stealing bread makes me a modern Robin Hood, I'll decide I had no choice but to do the right thing, and I will do my best to make sure pretty girls everywhere find out about it." Panel 3: The woman, looking skeptical, says, "I... I kinda feel like your entire theory is immoral?" The man answers, "Cool sexy immoral, or social pariah immoral?" Votey (small bonus panel): The man lies in bed looking uneasy as an off-panel voice asks, "Hey, you mind if I harvest your organs to save five lives?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.