sex-robots
Original: sex-robots on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (dark hair): You ever worry were gonna perfectly duplicate human bodies as sex robots?
Woman (gray hair): Never gonna happen.
Panel 2:
Woman: Human bodies are objectively repulsive. The sex parts are right next to the poo parts and the passage between is a marsh of wiry hair.
Panel 3 (caption box):
Woman: Literally every sex part comes with a sweaty skinfold perpetually on the verge of fungal infection. You can basically improve anything by making a change at random.
Panel 4 (caption box):
Woman: Expecting sex-bots to be modeled on humans is like expecting jets to be modeled on chickens or submarines to look like walruses.
Panel 5:
Sound effects: FlipFlop! Flop!
Woman (caption box): The moment these things are even vaguely operational, every single human will switch over, and human-on-human sex will be seen as a creepy paraphilia.
Panel 6:
(Close-up of a human torso/body.)
Panel 7:
Man (silhouette): This conversation has not been good for my self-esteem.
Panel 8:
Woman (silhouette): Wanna come back to my place, wash and shave extensively, perfume our bodies, turn off all the lights, and GET IT ON?
Votey:
Woman (off-panel): Oh, and noise-canceling headphones. We can't forget them.
(The man's face is shown looking uneasy/sweating.)
Man (dark hair): You ever worry were gonna perfectly duplicate human bodies as sex robots?
Woman (gray hair): Never gonna happen.
Panel 2:
Woman: Human bodies are objectively repulsive. The sex parts are right next to the poo parts and the passage between is a marsh of wiry hair.
Panel 3 (caption box):
Woman: Literally every sex part comes with a sweaty skinfold perpetually on the verge of fungal infection. You can basically improve anything by making a change at random.
Panel 4 (caption box):
Woman: Expecting sex-bots to be modeled on humans is like expecting jets to be modeled on chickens or submarines to look like walruses.
Panel 5:
Sound effects: FlipFlop! Flop!
Woman (caption box): The moment these things are even vaguely operational, every single human will switch over, and human-on-human sex will be seen as a creepy paraphilia.
Panel 6:
(Close-up of a human torso/body.)
Panel 7:
Man (silhouette): This conversation has not been good for my self-esteem.
Panel 8:
Woman (silhouette): Wanna come back to my place, wash and shave extensively, perfume our bodies, turn off all the lights, and GET IT ON?
Votey:
Woman (off-panel): Oh, and noise-canceling headphones. We can't forget them.
(The man's face is shown looking uneasy/sweating.)
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A dark-haired man and a gray-haired woman talk. He asks if she ever worries we'll perfectly duplicate human bodies as sex robots. She says 'Never gonna happen' and argues at length that human bodies are objectively repulsive: the sex parts are next to the poo parts with a marsh of wiry hair between, every sex part has a sweaty skinfold on the verge of fungal infection, so you can improve anything by changing it at random. She says expecting sex-bots to be modeled on humans is like expecting jets to be modeled on chickens or submarines to look like walruses; the moment they're operational everyone will switch and human-on-human sex will be seen as a creepy paraphilia. A panel shows a plain human torso. In silhouette, the man says the conversation has not been good for his self-esteem; the woman replies, 'Wanna come back to my place, wash and shave extensively, perfume our bodies, turn off all the lights, and get it on?' Votey: a close-up of the man's uneasy, sweating face as the woman adds off-panel, 'Oh, and noise-canceling headphones. We can't forget them.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.