boom
Original: boom on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Main comic:
(A mock financial news/stock-ticker display. Along the top is a green ticker row showing rising values:)
Ticker: ▲ +22.49 ▲ +1.62 ▲ +6.28 ▲ +2.72 ▲ +9 (cut off)
Headline: ECONOMY SLIGHTLY LESS OF SHAMBLES THAN ANTICIPATED
Subheadline: STOCKS BOOM ▲ +4.19%
(Below is a line graph of a stock index. The line wobbles along a flat low baseline for the left two-thirds, then surges sharply upward and stays high, climbing to the right edge.)
Caption (below the panel): I wish I could be as in-the-moment as financial markets.
Votey:
Title: FINANCE GURUS:
Text: THE QUESTION IS NOT WHETHER YOUR HOME IS ON FIRE. THE QUESTION IS HOW MUCH FIRE YOU WERE EXPECTING.
(Below the text, a small drawing of a person sitting cross-legged in a serene meditation pose, eyes closed.)
(A mock financial news/stock-ticker display. Along the top is a green ticker row showing rising values:)
Ticker: ▲ +22.49 ▲ +1.62 ▲ +6.28 ▲ +2.72 ▲ +9 (cut off)
Headline: ECONOMY SLIGHTLY LESS OF SHAMBLES THAN ANTICIPATED
Subheadline: STOCKS BOOM ▲ +4.19%
(Below is a line graph of a stock index. The line wobbles along a flat low baseline for the left two-thirds, then surges sharply upward and stays high, climbing to the right edge.)
Caption (below the panel): I wish I could be as in-the-moment as financial markets.
Votey:
Title: FINANCE GURUS:
Text: THE QUESTION IS NOT WHETHER YOUR HOME IS ON FIRE. THE QUESTION IS HOW MUCH FIRE YOU WERE EXPECTING.
(Below the text, a small drawing of a person sitting cross-legged in a serene meditation pose, eyes closed.)
Alt text
A webcomic styled as a mock financial news display. A green stock ticker runs across the top showing gains (+22.49, +1.62, +6.28, +2.72, +9...). The bold headline reads "ECONOMY SLIGHTLY LESS OF SHAMBLES THAN ANTICIPATED," with a subheadline "STOCKS BOOM ▲ +4.19%." A line graph below shows the market wobbling along a flat low baseline for most of its length, then suddenly surging upward and staying high. A caption beneath reads: "I wish I could be as in-the-moment as financial markets." The joke: markets react only to the gap between expectations and reality, not to the actual (still-bad) state of things. The votey aftercomic, titled "FINANCE GURUS:", reads: "THE QUESTION IS NOT WHETHER YOUR HOME IS ON FIRE. THE QUESTION IS HOW MUCH FIRE YOU WERE EXPECTING." Below it is a small drawing of a person sitting cross-legged in a calm meditation pose, eyes closed — mocking finance-guru zen about expectations versus disaster.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.