how-i-was
Original: how-i-was on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: An elderly man (David) lies in bed speaking to an elderly woman (Celia) at his bedside.
David: "Celia, I haven't got long. I know I haven't been a good partner, but what will you say about me when I'm gone?"
Panel 2: Celia, eyes wide and intense.
Celia: "I will de-exist you, David! I will scatter your memory to the wind! The reality of your life will be crushed and lies placed atop the rubble!"
Panel 3: David, now lying back and reacting in distress.
David: "No! No! I was a real man! Say how I was!"
Panel 4: Celia, leaning over him, eyes wide and furious.
Celia: "Never! You will be as nothing!"
Panel 5: Caption: "LATER..." A gravestone is shown in a cemetery.
Panel 6: Close on the gravestone, which reads: "DAVID JENKINS / BELOVED HUSBAND, DEVOTED FATHER, KIND SOUL". Flowers rest at its base.
Votey:
A loose sketch of a figure slumped/seated. Caption text reads: "In all those years, he never was a huge douchebag all the time."
David: "Celia, I haven't got long. I know I haven't been a good partner, but what will you say about me when I'm gone?"
Panel 2: Celia, eyes wide and intense.
Celia: "I will de-exist you, David! I will scatter your memory to the wind! The reality of your life will be crushed and lies placed atop the rubble!"
Panel 3: David, now lying back and reacting in distress.
David: "No! No! I was a real man! Say how I was!"
Panel 4: Celia, leaning over him, eyes wide and furious.
Celia: "Never! You will be as nothing!"
Panel 5: Caption: "LATER..." A gravestone is shown in a cemetery.
Panel 6: Close on the gravestone, which reads: "DAVID JENKINS / BELOVED HUSBAND, DEVOTED FATHER, KIND SOUL". Flowers rest at its base.
Votey:
A loose sketch of a figure slumped/seated. Caption text reads: "In all those years, he never was a huge douchebag all the time."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a frail elderly man named David lies in bed and says to an elderly woman, Celia, at his bedside, "Celia, I haven't got long. I know I haven't been a good partner, but what will you say about me when I'm gone?" Panel 2: Celia, eyes wide and intense, declares, "I will de-exist you, David! I will scatter your memory to the wind! The reality of your life will be crushed and lies placed atop the rubble!" Panel 3: David, distressed, protests, "No! No! I was a real man! Say how I was!" Panel 4: Celia leans over him, furious, and shouts, "Never! You will be as nothing!" Panel 5: a "LATER..." caption over a graveyard scene. Panel 6: a close-up of David's gravestone reading "DAVID JENKINS, BELOVED HUSBAND, DEVOTED FATHER, KIND SOUL," with flowers at its base, revealing she gave him an entirely flattering, fictional epitaph. Votey (aftercomic): a loose sketch of a seated figure with the caption "In all those years, he never was a huge douchebag all the time," a backhanded compliment confirming he was, in fact, often a douchebag.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.