fire-2
Original: fire-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A witch hunter (a man in a black pointed hat) points at a woman tied to a stake atop a pile of kindling.
Witch hunter: "Prove you are not a witch!"
Panel 2:
The accused woman (in a white bonnet and white clothing), calm.
Woman: "I predict you will not set me on fire."
Panel 3:
Two black-hatted witch hunters confer.
Witch hunter: "Hmm. If we set her on fire, that proves she can't see the future, so we killed an innocent woman. If we don't set her on fire, that proves she's a witch, which means we have to set her on fire... which would prove she isn't a witch, which would..."
Panel 4:
A witch hunter turns to a bearded man.
Witch hunter: "Reverend Burroughs, what's the policy for paradoxes?"
Reverend Burroughs: "Fire."
Caption bar: LATER...
Panel 5:
The two witch hunters stand calmly in a green field beside a large wall of flames.
Witch hunter: "So glad there's a policy in place."
Votey:
A man with flame-like (spiky) hair speaks.
Man: "God, I just absolutely love for the weekend."
A witch hunter (a man in a black pointed hat) points at a woman tied to a stake atop a pile of kindling.
Witch hunter: "Prove you are not a witch!"
Panel 2:
The accused woman (in a white bonnet and white clothing), calm.
Woman: "I predict you will not set me on fire."
Panel 3:
Two black-hatted witch hunters confer.
Witch hunter: "Hmm. If we set her on fire, that proves she can't see the future, so we killed an innocent woman. If we don't set her on fire, that proves she's a witch, which means we have to set her on fire... which would prove she isn't a witch, which would..."
Panel 4:
A witch hunter turns to a bearded man.
Witch hunter: "Reverend Burroughs, what's the policy for paradoxes?"
Reverend Burroughs: "Fire."
Caption bar: LATER...
Panel 5:
The two witch hunters stand calmly in a green field beside a large wall of flames.
Witch hunter: "So glad there's a policy in place."
Votey:
A man with flame-like (spiky) hair speaks.
Man: "God, I just absolutely love for the weekend."
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic about Puritan witch hunters. Panel 1: a black-hatted witch hunter points at a woman tied to a stake on a pile of kindling and demands, "Prove you are not a witch!" Panel 2: the calm accused woman in a white bonnet says, "I predict you will not set me on fire." Panel 3: two hunters puzzle over the logic loop -- if they burn her she couldn't see the future so she was innocent, but if they don't burn her that proves she's a witch, which means they must burn her, which would prove she isn't... an infinite paradox. Panel 4: one asks, "Reverend Burroughs, what's the policy for paradoxes?" and the bearded reverend simply answers, "Fire." A "LATER..." caption leads to panel 5, where the two hunters stand calmly in a green field beside a giant wall of flames, one saying, "So glad there's a policy in place" -- they burned her anyway. Votey: a man with spiky flame-like hair says, "God, I just absolutely love for the weekend."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.