chess
Original: chess on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
A woman with dark red hair sits across a chess board from a man whose back is to the viewer.
Woman: Checkmate.
Man: You cheated!
Woman: That's impossible.
Panel 2
Woman: Chess is a set of objects and a set of rules for their movement.
Panel 3
Woman: If I made a move that was legal to do with those objects and rules, then I was playing chess and not cheating.
Panel 4
Woman: If I made a move that was not possible with those objects and rules, then I was not playing chess.
Panel 5
The two figures shown as white silhouettes facing each other against a black background.
Woman: Therefore, cheating at chess is impossible. We are forced to conclude that I have not cheated.
Panel 6
The man (dark hair, mustache, tie) looks unconvinced.
Man: You can't undo cheating by changing the definition.
Panel 7
The woman in profile.
Woman: Ho boy. This is going to negatively impact tonight's relationship chat.
Votey:
A large speech balloon coming from the woman, whose face is shown looking flustered/sweating.
Woman: You don't cheat on your true love. Thus for the duration of my doinking your brother, true love was temporarily suspended.
A woman with dark red hair sits across a chess board from a man whose back is to the viewer.
Woman: Checkmate.
Man: You cheated!
Woman: That's impossible.
Panel 2
Woman: Chess is a set of objects and a set of rules for their movement.
Panel 3
Woman: If I made a move that was legal to do with those objects and rules, then I was playing chess and not cheating.
Panel 4
Woman: If I made a move that was not possible with those objects and rules, then I was not playing chess.
Panel 5
The two figures shown as white silhouettes facing each other against a black background.
Woman: Therefore, cheating at chess is impossible. We are forced to conclude that I have not cheated.
Panel 6
The man (dark hair, mustache, tie) looks unconvinced.
Man: You can't undo cheating by changing the definition.
Panel 7
The woman in profile.
Woman: Ho boy. This is going to negatively impact tonight's relationship chat.
Votey:
A large speech balloon coming from the woman, whose face is shown looking flustered/sweating.
Woman: You don't cheat on your true love. Thus for the duration of my doinking your brother, true love was temporarily suspended.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A dark-red-haired woman plays chess against a man whose back is to us. She says "Checkmate." He cries "You cheated!" and she replies "That's impossible." She then argues her case: "Chess is a set of objects and a set of rules for their movement. If I made a move that was legal to do with those objects and rules, then I was playing chess and not cheating. If I made a move that was not possible with those objects and rules, then I was not playing chess." Over a dramatic black panel of the two as white silhouettes she concludes, "Therefore, cheating at chess is impossible. We are forced to conclude that I have not cheated." The mustached man, unimpressed, answers "You can't undo cheating by changing the definition." In the last panel the woman, in profile, mutters "Ho boy. This is going to negatively impact tonight's relationship chat." Votey: a close-up of the woman, sweating and flustered, with a large speech balloon: "You don't cheat on your true love. Thus for the duration of my doinking your brother, true love was temporarily suspended" — revealing she's applying the same definitional dodge to infidelity.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.