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names

Original: names on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Caption (bottom of panel): What if people were still named for their parents' job?

Panel (single panel, three people standing together):

Woman with blonde hair (speech bubble): I'm Alexandra Restauranteur!

Boy with dark hair, eyes closed (speech bubble): I'm Vijay Soybean-Options-Trader.

Man with black hair, wide-eyed (speech bubble): I'm Jason Improved-Lube-Patent-Royalties-Receiver.

Votey:
(No text. A heraldic shield, split into two halves. The left half is light blue/teal and bears a red sausage. The right half is a darker blue-gray and bears a mallet/hammer.)

Alt text

A single-panel comic with the caption: "What if people were still named for their parents' job?" Three people stand together. A blonde woman gestures and says, "I'm Alexandra Restauranteur!" A dark-haired boy with closed eyes says, "I'm Vijay Soybean-Options-Trader." A wide-eyed man with black hair says, "I'm Jason Improved-Lube-Patent-Royalties-Receiver." The joke is that occupational surnames have become absurdly modern and specific. Votey: a heraldic coat-of-arms shield split in two halves, the left teal half showing a red sausage and the right blue-gray half showing a mallet, mock-formalizing the silly modern "trades."

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.