ags
Original: ags on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man: I don't get it. It goes up for no reason, it goes down for no reason. The stock market doesn't make any goddamned sense.
Woman: That's the efficient market hypothesis.
Panel 2:
Woman: If the stock market made any goddamned sense, you'd be able to exploit that sense and capitalize on it.
Panel 3:
Woman: It follows that early stock markets should've made sense, then gradually made less sense over time until we reached the balls-out, bananas-in-your-ears, Christ-Jesus-but-why? level of confusion that we see today.
Panel 4:
Woman: This is a 400 year project that culminates in an absolute zero of sensicality. It is beautiful and you should appreciate it.
Panel 5:
Man: But what about these finance headlines that give reasons for things.
Woman: The purest variety of performance art.
Votey:
Woman: Finance is just looking for anything that makes sense, then destroying it first.
Man: I don't get it. It goes up for no reason, it goes down for no reason. The stock market doesn't make any goddamned sense.
Woman: That's the efficient market hypothesis.
Panel 2:
Woman: If the stock market made any goddamned sense, you'd be able to exploit that sense and capitalize on it.
Panel 3:
Woman: It follows that early stock markets should've made sense, then gradually made less sense over time until we reached the balls-out, bananas-in-your-ears, Christ-Jesus-but-why? level of confusion that we see today.
Panel 4:
Woman: This is a 400 year project that culminates in an absolute zero of sensicality. It is beautiful and you should appreciate it.
Panel 5:
Man: But what about these finance headlines that give reasons for things.
Woman: The purest variety of performance art.
Votey:
Woman: Finance is just looking for anything that makes sense, then destroying it first.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A man and a woman talk. The man complains: "I don't get it. It goes up for no reason, it goes down for no reason. The stock market doesn't make any goddamned sense." The woman replies, "That's the efficient market hypothesis." She explains that if the market made sense, you could exploit and capitalize on that sense, so it follows that early stock markets should have made sense and then gradually made less over time "until we reached the balls-out, bananas-in-your-ears, Christ-Jesus-but-why? level of confusion that we see today." She calls it "a 400 year project that culminates in an absolute zero of sensicality" that is beautiful and should be appreciated. The man asks what about finance headlines that give reasons for things; she answers, "The purest variety of performance art." The final small panel (votey) is a close-up of the woman's face as she adds: "Finance is just looking for anything that makes sense, then destroying it first."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.