stories
Original: stories on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Human (with flame-like reddish hair): Earth, why haven't you revealed yourselves to humanity yet?
Alien: Because you're so... delicate.
Human: Huh?
Panel 2:
Alien: We are not. Tell you you so delicate.
Human: Watch me. Tell you you completed abstract story.
Panel 3 (alien narrating an abstract story):
There was a person who loved another person. But conditions compelled one of them to leave. They cried a large body of water later between realities. Clearly one night, they would look across their respective ends of the large body of water and think of each other.
Panel 4:
Two men fight on either side of a war. All of their friends die and they are very angry for many years. Later they each add or die. But they each spontaneously hug each other and cry.
(Two figures shown crying with tears streaming.)
Panel 5:
Once, there were six old human who were sick. The sick human had an estranged child. After the sick human suffered much pain and consciousness, the estranged child took care of the sick human's body until it died.
(A face is shown crying loudly: "WAAH!")
Panel 6:
Alien: We must leave until they find a way to be less weird.
(A flying saucer departs into the sky.)
Votey:
Handwritten text at the top of the panel:
THANK GOD KITTY
DONE ANOTHER
AND DONE
WITH KITTY
BEST FRIENDS
LINE DRAWING OF A PUPPY AND KITTY WHO ARE BEST FRIENDS.
(A continuous-line sketch shows the profile of a cat/kitten face on the right and a curled puppy-like form on the left, drawn as a single unbroken line.)
Human (with flame-like reddish hair): Earth, why haven't you revealed yourselves to humanity yet?
Alien: Because you're so... delicate.
Human: Huh?
Panel 2:
Alien: We are not. Tell you you so delicate.
Human: Watch me. Tell you you completed abstract story.
Panel 3 (alien narrating an abstract story):
There was a person who loved another person. But conditions compelled one of them to leave. They cried a large body of water later between realities. Clearly one night, they would look across their respective ends of the large body of water and think of each other.
Panel 4:
Two men fight on either side of a war. All of their friends die and they are very angry for many years. Later they each add or die. But they each spontaneously hug each other and cry.
(Two figures shown crying with tears streaming.)
Panel 5:
Once, there were six old human who were sick. The sick human had an estranged child. After the sick human suffered much pain and consciousness, the estranged child took care of the sick human's body until it died.
(A face is shown crying loudly: "WAAH!")
Panel 6:
Alien: We must leave until they find a way to be less weird.
(A flying saucer departs into the sky.)
Votey:
Handwritten text at the top of the panel:
THANK GOD KITTY
DONE ANOTHER
AND DONE
WITH KITTY
BEST FRIENDS
LINE DRAWING OF A PUPPY AND KITTY WHO ARE BEST FRIENDS.
(A continuous-line sketch shows the profile of a cat/kitten face on the right and a curled puppy-like form on the left, drawn as a single unbroken line.)
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A human with flame-like reddish hair asks a tall green alien why aliens haven't revealed themselves to humanity. The alien replies it's because humans are so 'delicate.' To prove otherwise, the human challenges the alien to tell a complete emotional story without crying. The alien recounts several deliberately abstract, deadpan tales of human attachment and loss: two people separated by distance who pine for each other across a large body of water; two enemy soldiers who lose all their friends in war, grow bitter for years, then spontaneously hug and cry; and an estranged child who returns to care for a dying parent's body. As the alien narrates, a human face is shown weeping, with tears streaming and a loud 'WAAH!' In the final panel a flying saucer rises into the sky as the alien concludes, 'We must leave until they find a way to be less weird' — the joke being that aliens find humans' intense emotional reactions to ordinary life events bizarre and overwhelming. Votey: a hand-drawn continuous single-line sketch of a kitten's face and a curled puppy, captioned roughly 'puppy and kitty who are best friends' — a deliberately wobbly one-line doodle of a puppy and a kitty as best friends.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.