titan
Original: titan on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (top left): An image of Saturn's moon Titan.
Caption: Fact: Saturn's moon Titan has a hydrocarbon-rich surface.
Panel 2 (top right): A cross-section diagram of Titan's layers, labeled "hydrocarbon" (upper) and "liquid water" (lower).
Caption: Fact: Beneath that surface is water, either as liquid or slush.
Panel 3 (left): A presentation slide on an easel.
Slide text: A MISSION PROPOSAL
Panel 4 (right): A spacecraft / rocket near Titan.
Caption: Step 1: Drop nuclear submarine beneath hydrocarbon layer, into water layer.
Panel 5 (left): The spacecraft over Titan's surface.
Caption: Therefore, we should light Titan on fire.
Caption: Step 2: Spread out massive bars to electrolyze water, releasing oxygen.
Panel 6 (right): A diagram / scene with a flaming object approaching Titan.
Caption: Step 3: From Elon Musk, to send a flamethrower according to our analysis, some guy on Twitter called you a bad word for women's genitalia.
Speech bubble: ALL HANDS ON DECK!
Panel 7 (left): A man at a podium giving a presentation, arms spread.
Caption: Step 4: Ignore the opposition of being anti-Promethean.
Man (at podium): Man are always created to need means to burn it down. We shall grow stronger!
Panel 8 (right): Two men in suits talking, one gesturing.
Caption: Step 5: Sell us consider perspective of naysayers.
Man 1: But... Do the worst brothers ask why for the gods?
Man 2: Yes! Mid obvious!
Panel 9 (bottom, wide): Step 6: Maniacal laugh. A red glowing figure with horns/devil-like silhouette amid flames.
Figure: WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!
Votey: Black hand-drawn box frame with text inside reading:
(ALSO IF FIND LIFE, FREE FISH FRY!)
Caption: Fact: Saturn's moon Titan has a hydrocarbon-rich surface.
Panel 2 (top right): A cross-section diagram of Titan's layers, labeled "hydrocarbon" (upper) and "liquid water" (lower).
Caption: Fact: Beneath that surface is water, either as liquid or slush.
Panel 3 (left): A presentation slide on an easel.
Slide text: A MISSION PROPOSAL
Panel 4 (right): A spacecraft / rocket near Titan.
Caption: Step 1: Drop nuclear submarine beneath hydrocarbon layer, into water layer.
Panel 5 (left): The spacecraft over Titan's surface.
Caption: Therefore, we should light Titan on fire.
Caption: Step 2: Spread out massive bars to electrolyze water, releasing oxygen.
Panel 6 (right): A diagram / scene with a flaming object approaching Titan.
Caption: Step 3: From Elon Musk, to send a flamethrower according to our analysis, some guy on Twitter called you a bad word for women's genitalia.
Speech bubble: ALL HANDS ON DECK!
Panel 7 (left): A man at a podium giving a presentation, arms spread.
Caption: Step 4: Ignore the opposition of being anti-Promethean.
Man (at podium): Man are always created to need means to burn it down. We shall grow stronger!
Panel 8 (right): Two men in suits talking, one gesturing.
Caption: Step 5: Sell us consider perspective of naysayers.
Man 1: But... Do the worst brothers ask why for the gods?
Man 2: Yes! Mid obvious!
Panel 9 (bottom, wide): Step 6: Maniacal laugh. A red glowing figure with horns/devil-like silhouette amid flames.
Figure: WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!
Votey: Black hand-drawn box frame with text inside reading:
(ALSO IF FIND LIFE, FREE FISH FRY!)
Alt text
A six-step SMBC comic laid out as a tongue-in-cheek scientific 'mission proposal.' It opens with facts: Saturn's moon Titan has a hydrocarbon-rich surface, and beneath it lies water. An easel slide reads 'A MISSION PROPOSAL.' The steps escalate absurdly: drop a nuclear submarine beneath the hydrocarbon layer into the water, electrolyze the water to release oxygen, and use the released oxygen plus the hydrocarbons to set the entire moon on fire ('therefore, we should light Titan on fire'). A man at a podium delivers a grandiose, megalomaniacal speech about being 'anti-Promethean' and growing stronger by burning things down, while two suited men weakly object and are dismissed. The final wide panel shows a red, devil-like figure standing amid flames shouting 'WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!' The joke is a deadpan engineering pitch that spirals into cartoonish supervillain mania. Votey (aftercomic): a hand-drawn black box frame containing the line '(ALSO IF FIND LIFE, FREE FISH FRY!)' — a final gag offering free fish fry if the mission discovers alien life.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.