surprise-3
Original: surprise-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A red-haired man lies in bed. A speech bubble from off-panel (God) says: "HEY HUMAN, IT'S GOD."
Man: "OH, WOW. AM I A PROPHET?"
God: "NAH I JUST WANNA CHAT."
Panel 2:
God: "CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?"
Man: "SURE?"
Panel 3:
God: "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DIE SURPRISED?"
Man (now sitting up): "WHAT?"
God: "LIKE, EVERYONE. THEY DIE SURPRISED."
Panel 4:
God: "YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT DEATH ALL THE TIME. YOU'VE SEEN DEATH. YOU EAT DEAD THINGS. YOU HAVE WHOLE RELIGIONS AND PHILOSOPHIES ORIENTED AROUND APPROPRIATE POSTURE TOWARD DEATH."
Panel 5:
God: "BUT WHEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS, EVERYONE'S SHOCKED IT'S FOR REAL THIS TIME!"
Panel 6: A white face/figure appears in darkness, looking on.
Panel 7:
Man: "HONESTLY, THIS IS SURPRISING NEWS."
God: "JEEZ YOU THINGS ARE WEIRD!"
Votey:
God (in a panel showing rising water/a flood line and a face peering up at it): "I MIGHT DO A FLOOD JUST SO THE SURPRISE MAKES MORE SENSE."
Man: "OH, WOW. AM I A PROPHET?"
God: "NAH I JUST WANNA CHAT."
Panel 2:
God: "CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?"
Man: "SURE?"
Panel 3:
God: "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DIE SURPRISED?"
Man (now sitting up): "WHAT?"
God: "LIKE, EVERYONE. THEY DIE SURPRISED."
Panel 4:
God: "YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT DEATH ALL THE TIME. YOU'VE SEEN DEATH. YOU EAT DEAD THINGS. YOU HAVE WHOLE RELIGIONS AND PHILOSOPHIES ORIENTED AROUND APPROPRIATE POSTURE TOWARD DEATH."
Panel 5:
God: "BUT WHEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS, EVERYONE'S SHOCKED IT'S FOR REAL THIS TIME!"
Panel 6: A white face/figure appears in darkness, looking on.
Panel 7:
Man: "HONESTLY, THIS IS SURPRISING NEWS."
God: "JEEZ YOU THINGS ARE WEIRD!"
Votey:
God (in a panel showing rising water/a flood line and a face peering up at it): "I MIGHT DO A FLOOD JUST SO THE SURPRISE MAKES MORE SENSE."
Alt text
An SMBC comic. A red-haired man lies in bed at night when a speech bubble announces, "Hey human, it's God." The man asks, "Oh, wow. Am I a prophet?" God replies, "Nah I just wanna chat," then asks, "Can I ask you something? Why do you always die surprised? Like, everyone. They die surprised." The man, now sitting up, says, "What?" God continues: "You guys think about death all the time. You've seen death. You eat dead things. You have whole religions and philosophies oriented around appropriate posture toward death. But when it finally happens, everyone's shocked it's for real this time!" The man, looking unsettled, replies, "Honestly, this is surprising news," and God exclaims, "Jeez you things are weird!" Votey: A panel shows a rising water line with a face peering up at it as God muses, "I might do a flood just so the surprise makes more sense."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.