need
Original: need on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Setting: two people stand outside in a snowy, starry night landscape. A bald, orange-skinned figure in a yellow coat speaks with a dark-haired person wearing glasses, a green coat, and a dark red scarf.
Panel 1
Bald figure (yellow coat): Do you think people need money to be happy?
Bespectacled person (green coat): Nah.
Panel 2
Bespectacled person: It's like having a house. Do you NEED money to have a house?
Panel 3
Bespectacled person: No! You just have to get a shovel, dig a gigantic hole, go quarry some limestone, build a kiln to convert it to quicklime, combine it with sand, pour your foundation, chop down a bunch of trees, saw them into boards, blacksmith thousands of nails to hold them together, and...
Panel 4
Bespectacled person: Wait, I skipped the step where you need to mine some coal for the kiln, but that coal will be handy because later we'll need to smelt some steel. Of course, casting the steel solo will require some construction. You'll want a computer too.
Panel 5
Bespectacled person (now lecturing on, small blonde child visible in the distance): I guess you'll start there by finding some silicon. Smelt some copper. Oh, wait, you'll need to build a power plant first.
Panel 6
Bespectacled person: Or perhaps a primitive computer based on the movement of water could--
Panel 7 (the bald figure's face frozen in wide-eyed, open-mouthed horror)
Panel 8
A small blonde child (sitting on a snowbank): I mean, does money make people happy?
Bespectacled person: Well obviously.
Votey:
Panel 1
A round-haired, bespectacled person: I wish we could afford to stop wandering.
Panel 2
A second person (curly hair): The author needs another Ferrari.
Panel 1
Bald figure (yellow coat): Do you think people need money to be happy?
Bespectacled person (green coat): Nah.
Panel 2
Bespectacled person: It's like having a house. Do you NEED money to have a house?
Panel 3
Bespectacled person: No! You just have to get a shovel, dig a gigantic hole, go quarry some limestone, build a kiln to convert it to quicklime, combine it with sand, pour your foundation, chop down a bunch of trees, saw them into boards, blacksmith thousands of nails to hold them together, and...
Panel 4
Bespectacled person: Wait, I skipped the step where you need to mine some coal for the kiln, but that coal will be handy because later we'll need to smelt some steel. Of course, casting the steel solo will require some construction. You'll want a computer too.
Panel 5
Bespectacled person (now lecturing on, small blonde child visible in the distance): I guess you'll start there by finding some silicon. Smelt some copper. Oh, wait, you'll need to build a power plant first.
Panel 6
Bespectacled person: Or perhaps a primitive computer based on the movement of water could--
Panel 7 (the bald figure's face frozen in wide-eyed, open-mouthed horror)
Panel 8
A small blonde child (sitting on a snowbank): I mean, does money make people happy?
Bespectacled person: Well obviously.
Votey:
Panel 1
A round-haired, bespectacled person: I wish we could afford to stop wandering.
Panel 2
A second person (curly hair): The author needs another Ferrari.
Alt text
An SMBC webcomic set in a snowy, starry night. A bald orange-skinned figure in a yellow coat asks a dark-haired person in glasses, a green coat, and red scarf, 'Do you think people need money to be happy?' The bespectacled person says 'Nah' and compares it to owning a house: you don't NEED money, you just have to dig a foundation, quarry limestone, build a kiln for quicklime, chop and saw trees into boards, blacksmith thousands of nails, mine coal, smelt steel, and -- in escalating absurdity -- find silicon, smelt copper, and build a power plant to make 'a computer too,' or maybe a primitive water-powered computer. As the lecture spirals, the bald figure's face freezes in wide-eyed, open-mouthed horror. In the final panel a small blonde child sitting on a snowbank clarifies, 'I mean, does money make people happy?' and the lecturer answers, 'Well obviously.' The joke: a literal-minded over-engineer answers the wrong (technical) question at exhausting length instead of the simple one being asked. Votey (bonus panel): one bespectacled person says 'I wish we could afford to stop wandering,' and another replies, 'The author needs another Ferrari' -- a self-deprecating jab at the cartoonist.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.