dissimulation
Original: dissimulation on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title panel (text on yellow background):
IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
BY BELIEVING IN
THE SIMULATION HYPOTHESIS
Panel 1:
Caption (red banner): YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.
Man with flame-like red hair (drunk, holding a bottle): I'M NOT DRUNK! THE LATENCY ON THE SIM JUST GOES UP WHENEVER I HAVE 6 BOURBONS!
Panel 2:
Caption (red banner): YOU'RE MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU REALIZE.
Red-haired man: OTHER MEN ONLY LOOK SQUAREJAWED BECAUSE THEIR MODELS HAVE FEWER POLYGONS!
Panel 3:
Caption (red banner): YOUR MISBEHAVIORS ARE JUST SOFTWARE BUGS.
A woman in bed: YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN!
Red-haired man (pointing, agitated): DAMN THESE OFF-BY-ONE ERRORS!
(Scene shows the woman in bed beside another man, with the red-haired man confronting them.)
Votey:
A person's face in profile, speech balloon: THE WORST THING IS THEY'RE PART OF A LOOP THAT NEVER STOPS!
IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
BY BELIEVING IN
THE SIMULATION HYPOTHESIS
Panel 1:
Caption (red banner): YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.
Man with flame-like red hair (drunk, holding a bottle): I'M NOT DRUNK! THE LATENCY ON THE SIM JUST GOES UP WHENEVER I HAVE 6 BOURBONS!
Panel 2:
Caption (red banner): YOU'RE MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU REALIZE.
Red-haired man: OTHER MEN ONLY LOOK SQUAREJAWED BECAUSE THEIR MODELS HAVE FEWER POLYGONS!
Panel 3:
Caption (red banner): YOUR MISBEHAVIORS ARE JUST SOFTWARE BUGS.
A woman in bed: YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN!
Red-haired man (pointing, agitated): DAMN THESE OFF-BY-ONE ERRORS!
(Scene shows the woman in bed beside another man, with the red-haired man confronting them.)
Votey:
A person's face in profile, speech balloon: THE WORST THING IS THEY'RE PART OF A LOOP THAT NEVER STOPS!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic titled "Improve your life by believing in the simulation hypothesis." Each panel pairs a reassuring red caption with a man with flame-like red hair blaming the simulation. Caption: "Your problems are not your fault." He says, holding a bottle, "I'm not drunk! The latency on the sim just goes up whenever I have 6 bourbons!" Caption: "You're more attractive than you realize." He says, "Other men only look squarejawed because their models have fewer polygons!" Caption: "Your misbehaviors are just software bugs." A woman in bed with another man tells him, "You're sleeping with another man!" and he points and yells, "Damn these off-by-one errors!" Votey: a face in profile says, "The worst thing is they're part of a loop that never stops!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.