suffering-2
Original: suffering-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Advisor (a man holding a notepad): Terrible news, Mr. President.
Panel 2:
Advisor: We've discovered a mathematical quirk in the science of human behavior which has allowed us to completely eliminate human suffering forever.
Panel 3:
President (a balding man with glasses and a beard): Isn't that good?
Advisor: No, Mr. President.
Panel 4:
Advisor: The main philosophical objection to eating living humans is that we're capable of suffering.
Panel 5:
Advisor: Now that we have a scientific economics, the inevitable result is widespread murder-cannibalism. As we speak, people are devouring each other in the streets.
Panel 6:
President: Interesting.
Panel 7:
President: But we've eliminated suffering?
Panel 8:
President (now seated at a table holding a fork and knife): Also hunger!
Votey:
A speech bubble reads: I am at peace with this.
(Below, two disembodied butts/figures and small sketchy human shapes are shown crawling on the ground, suggesting people on all fours.)
Advisor (a man holding a notepad): Terrible news, Mr. President.
Panel 2:
Advisor: We've discovered a mathematical quirk in the science of human behavior which has allowed us to completely eliminate human suffering forever.
Panel 3:
President (a balding man with glasses and a beard): Isn't that good?
Advisor: No, Mr. President.
Panel 4:
Advisor: The main philosophical objection to eating living humans is that we're capable of suffering.
Panel 5:
Advisor: Now that we have a scientific economics, the inevitable result is widespread murder-cannibalism. As we speak, people are devouring each other in the streets.
Panel 6:
President: Interesting.
Panel 7:
President: But we've eliminated suffering?
Panel 8:
President (now seated at a table holding a fork and knife): Also hunger!
Votey:
A speech bubble reads: I am at peace with this.
(Below, two disembodied butts/figures and small sketchy human shapes are shown crawling on the ground, suggesting people on all fours.)
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. An advisor with a notepad tells the President (a balding, bearded man in glasses) it's terrible news: they've discovered a mathematical quirk in human behavior that completely eliminates human suffering forever. The President asks if that isn't good; the advisor says no. The advisor explains that the main philosophical objection to eating living humans is that we're capable of suffering, and now that they have a scientific economics, the inevitable result is widespread murder-cannibalism, with people devouring each other in the streets. The President says 'Interesting,' then 'But we've eliminated suffering?' In the final panel he sits at a table gripping a fork and knife, grinning, and adds 'Also hunger!' Votey: A speech bubble says 'I am at peace with this' while small figures crawl on the ground on all fours.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.