oats
Original: oats on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man: Before we go to bed, you should know I've... sown some wild oats.
Panel 2:
Man (distressed, to a woman named Sally): Invasive oats from Australia. They're crowding out habitats for native mice.
Panel 3:
Man (anguished, mouth wide open): Millions of mice, Sally, crying out in hunger as their babies gnaw upon seeds their teeth cannot crack!
Panel 4:
Woman (Sally): I... well... have you stopped doing that?
Man: Don't try to change me, baby.
Votey:
Woman (thought/caption): I was hoping "Hitler of mice" was your fetish.
Man: Before we go to bed, you should know I've... sown some wild oats.
Panel 2:
Man (distressed, to a woman named Sally): Invasive oats from Australia. They're crowding out habitats for native mice.
Panel 3:
Man (anguished, mouth wide open): Millions of mice, Sally, crying out in hunger as their babies gnaw upon seeds their teeth cannot crack!
Panel 4:
Woman (Sally): I... well... have you stopped doing that?
Man: Don't try to change me, baby.
Votey:
Woman (thought/caption): I was hoping "Hitler of mice" was your fetish.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A smiling man in bed says, "Before we go to bed, you should know I've... sown some wild oats." Panel 2: Now looking distraught, he explains to a brown-haired woman, "Invasive oats from Australia. They're crowding out habitats for native mice." Panel 3: Close-up of his anguished, screaming face: "Millions of mice, Sally, crying out in hunger as their babies gnaw upon seeds their teeth cannot crack!" Panel 4: The woman, looking taken aback, asks, "I... well... have you stopped doing that?" He replies defiantly, "Don't try to change me, baby." The joke turns the seductive phrase "sown my wild oats" into a literal ecological catastrophe. Votey: The same woman appears with a deadpan caption, "I was hoping 'Hitler of mice' was your fetish."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.