holding

A four-panel comic. A man with flame-like orange hair kneels and prays, "Dear God. Why do bad things happen to good people?" A glowing yellow speech bubble answers like an automated phone menu: "Hello! You've reached God." It continues: "To help us direct your prayer, please say 'one' for questions of morality. Say 'two' for metaphysics. Say 'three' for existential meaning questions. Or, interrupt at any time to cause the prayer to be ignored." The man hesitantly says, "Uh... one. One, please." God replies, "Please hold until your body inevitably disintegrates into its molecular constituents." Panicked, the man shouts, "Three! Three!" The joke: praying to God works exactly like being stuck in a frustrating automated phone tree. In the votey aftercomic, God's hold-message bubble adds, "Please use your beating heart as holding music," while the man sits resigned below.