love-ironically
Original: love-ironically on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A red-haired man (kneeling, proposing) speaks to a brown-haired woman.
Red-haired man: I'M PREPARED TO MARRY, HAVE CHILDREN, AND GROW OLD TOGETHER, BUT ONLY IF WE CAN DO IT IRONICALLY.
Panel 2: The man holds open a ring box.
Brown-haired woman: PFFT. SURE.
Panel 3: Close-up of the woman.
Woman: GUESS WHO'S BOURGEOIS NOW!
Panel 4: Close-up of the smiling red-haired man.
Red-haired man: ANOTHER CONTRIBUTION TO CLIMATE CHANGE!
Panel 5: A wedding scene — the couple in a tuxedo and white wedding dress (she holds a bouquet) facing an officiant.
Panel 6: The couple sits at the edge of a bed; the woman cradles a newborn baby.
Panel 7: A graduation scene. An older man and older woman stand beside a young woman in a graduation cap and gown.
Older man: CONGRATS ON JOINING THE CULTURAL ELITES, KID.
Panel 8: An older couple. The man (now older, with mustache and glasses) and the older woman.
Older man: I REALLY DO LOVE YOU, JACK.
Older woman (annoyed): HEY! YOU PROMISED!
Older man: SORRY, SORRY.
Panel 9: Two gravestones in a grassy cemetery.
Left gravestone: Death is so Conformist
Right gravestone: Borne low by grief, but now back with her true love, or whatever
Votey:
A single gravestone in a grassy field. Its epitaph reads simply: meh.
Red-haired man: I'M PREPARED TO MARRY, HAVE CHILDREN, AND GROW OLD TOGETHER, BUT ONLY IF WE CAN DO IT IRONICALLY.
Panel 2: The man holds open a ring box.
Brown-haired woman: PFFT. SURE.
Panel 3: Close-up of the woman.
Woman: GUESS WHO'S BOURGEOIS NOW!
Panel 4: Close-up of the smiling red-haired man.
Red-haired man: ANOTHER CONTRIBUTION TO CLIMATE CHANGE!
Panel 5: A wedding scene — the couple in a tuxedo and white wedding dress (she holds a bouquet) facing an officiant.
Panel 6: The couple sits at the edge of a bed; the woman cradles a newborn baby.
Panel 7: A graduation scene. An older man and older woman stand beside a young woman in a graduation cap and gown.
Older man: CONGRATS ON JOINING THE CULTURAL ELITES, KID.
Panel 8: An older couple. The man (now older, with mustache and glasses) and the older woman.
Older man: I REALLY DO LOVE YOU, JACK.
Older woman (annoyed): HEY! YOU PROMISED!
Older man: SORRY, SORRY.
Panel 9: Two gravestones in a grassy cemetery.
Left gravestone: Death is so Conformist
Right gravestone: Borne low by grief, but now back with her true love, or whatever
Votey:
A single gravestone in a grassy field. Its epitaph reads simply: meh.
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired man proposes to a brown-haired woman, saying he's prepared to marry, have children, and grow old together — but only if they can do it ironically. She replies, 'Pfft. Sure.' In quick close-ups she crows 'Guess who's bourgeois now!' and he grins 'Another contribution to climate change!' The next panels show their life carried out with detached irony anyway: a wedding, the couple with a newborn baby, and their now-grown daughter's graduation, where an older relative says 'Congrats on joining the cultural elites, kid.' As an elderly couple, the man says 'I really do love you, Jack,' and the woman snaps 'Hey! You promised!' — he apologizes. The final panel shows their two gravestones: his reads 'Death is so Conformist,' and hers reads 'Borne low by grief, but now back with her true love, or whatever' — even their epitaphs keep up the ironic detachment. The joke: a couple commits to a whole sincere life together but insists on framing every milestone ironically. Votey (aftercomic): a single gravestone in a field bearing the one-word epitaph 'meh.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.