affection
Original: affection on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (red-haired, with glasses, in a teal sweater vest): I'm tired of saying affectionate things, Sheila.
Panel 2:
Man: So, I'm outsourcing that stuff to this inexpensive service provider in an economic backwater.
A speech device (a phone/speaker showing a tiny face on screen) speaks: Sheila, your hair is like wild orchids in springtime.
Panel 3:
Woman (dark-haired, in a red shirt): Why wouldn't I just dump you and date her?
Panel 4:
Man: She can't migrate here legally.
Panel 5:
The device: Hey!
Woman (off-panel / behind the man): The system is bullshit!
Panel 6:
The device: Your opinions are so clever and accurate.
Man: Hey!
(The woman scowls.)
Votey:
The man, in profile, looks down sadly. A thought/speech bubble reads: I hope someday we can replace poor people with AI...
Man (red-haired, with glasses, in a teal sweater vest): I'm tired of saying affectionate things, Sheila.
Panel 2:
Man: So, I'm outsourcing that stuff to this inexpensive service provider in an economic backwater.
A speech device (a phone/speaker showing a tiny face on screen) speaks: Sheila, your hair is like wild orchids in springtime.
Panel 3:
Woman (dark-haired, in a red shirt): Why wouldn't I just dump you and date her?
Panel 4:
Man: She can't migrate here legally.
Panel 5:
The device: Hey!
Woman (off-panel / behind the man): The system is bullshit!
Panel 6:
The device: Your opinions are so clever and accurate.
Man: Hey!
(The woman scowls.)
Votey:
The man, in profile, looks down sadly. A thought/speech bubble reads: I hope someday we can replace poor people with AI...
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired man in a teal sweater vest tells a dark-haired woman, 'I'm tired of saying affectionate things, Sheila. So, I'm outsourcing that stuff to this inexpensive service provider in an economic backwater.' He holds up a small speaker device that displays a tiny human face and says in a sweet voice, 'Sheila, your hair is like wild orchids in springtime.' Sheila replies, 'Why wouldn't I just dump you and date her?' The man answers flatly, 'She can't migrate here legally.' Sheila fumes, 'The system is bullshit!' and the device chimes, 'Hey!' Then the device adds, 'Your opinions are so clever and accurate,' to which the man indignantly says, 'Hey!' The joke: he outsources emotional labor to an exploited remote worker, then weaponizes the same immigration system to prevent his partner from leaving him for her. Votey: the man gazes down sadly and thinks, 'I hope someday we can replace poor people with AI...'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.