eternal
Original: eternal on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (red, flame-like hair, hands clasped in prayer): Dear God, how can you punish humans with eternal damnation?
Panel 2:
Man: We're limited beings. We commit finite crimes and you give us infinite punishment.
Panel 3:
God (off-panel, speaking from above): Reality is a chain of cause and effect. The bad things you do have consequences that echo forever.
Panel 4:
God: They don't, though. The universe will die in heat death many eons from now.
Man: Wait. What?
Panel 5:
God: One sec, let me check the instructions on the kit I bought. ...Ah dammit! This thing's only good for 10^100 years or so!
God: Dammit dammit dammit! You know what this is? It's planned obsolescence! They make it so you gotta buy a new one over and over and over!
Panel 6:
Man: So can I cancel hell, or-
God: Looks like if I just wait a few eons it'll cancel itself!
Man: I'm suddenly having the most banal existential crisis.
God: What a rip-off! Ugh, I should've paid extra for a top shelf one.
Votey:
God (speech bubble, as a cookie/disc tumbles away into the air): Screw it. Into the trash it goes.
Man (red, flame-like hair, hands clasped in prayer): Dear God, how can you punish humans with eternal damnation?
Panel 2:
Man: We're limited beings. We commit finite crimes and you give us infinite punishment.
Panel 3:
God (off-panel, speaking from above): Reality is a chain of cause and effect. The bad things you do have consequences that echo forever.
Panel 4:
God: They don't, though. The universe will die in heat death many eons from now.
Man: Wait. What?
Panel 5:
God: One sec, let me check the instructions on the kit I bought. ...Ah dammit! This thing's only good for 10^100 years or so!
God: Dammit dammit dammit! You know what this is? It's planned obsolescence! They make it so you gotta buy a new one over and over and over!
Panel 6:
Man: So can I cancel hell, or-
God: Looks like if I just wait a few eons it'll cancel itself!
Man: I'm suddenly having the most banal existential crisis.
God: What a rip-off! Ugh, I should've paid extra for a top shelf one.
Votey:
God (speech bubble, as a cookie/disc tumbles away into the air): Screw it. Into the trash it goes.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A man with red, flame-like hair kneels with hands clasped in prayer and asks God how He can punish humans with eternal damnation, arguing that limited beings committing finite crimes don't deserve infinite punishment. God replies that reality's cause-and-effect means bad consequences echo forever, then immediately backpedals, noting the universe will die in heat death eons from now. The man says "Wait. What?" God checks the instructions on "the kit" He bought to build reality and complains it's only good for about 10^100 years, ranting that it's planned obsolescence designed to make Him buy a new one over and over. The man asks if hell can be canceled; God says it'll cancel itself in a few eons, and the man admits he's now having the most banal existential crisis while God grumbles that he should have paid extra for a top-shelf universe. Votey panel: a cookie-like disc tumbles through the air as God says, "Screw it. Into the trash it goes."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.