space-weapons
Original: space-weapons on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man with flame-like (curly, upswept) hair is speaking animatedly, gesturing with his hands. Two other men sit listening, one resting his head on his hand.
Man with flame-like hair: "LASERS TAKE TOO MUCH CHEMICAL FUEL PER SHOT TO BE WORTH IT WHERE WEAPONS REQUIRE TOO MANY SATELLITES TO BE ABLE TO TARGET QUICKLY AND MISSILES IN SPACE AREN'T REALLY BETTER THAN MISSILES ON THE GROUND. ON AND DEFLECTING ASTEROIDS IS EXPENSIVE, RISKY, EASY TO DETECT, AND PROBABLY KILLS EVERYONE. AND ALL OF THIS WAS TRUE WHEN YOU ASKED ME YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE. NOW CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE BUDGET INSTEAD OF SPACE WEAPONS?"
Seated man: "I DON'T WANNA!"
Caption below: "This is why I shouldn't be president."
Votey:
Panel 1:
Text (narration/continued dialogue): "OKAY BUT SAY WE BOUNCE THE LASERS OFF GIANT RELAY MIRRORS IN SPACE, THEN THE MIRRORS-"
Panel 2:
A man (the speaker) leans in with a grinning face.
Speech bubble: "NO!"
A man with flame-like (curly, upswept) hair is speaking animatedly, gesturing with his hands. Two other men sit listening, one resting his head on his hand.
Man with flame-like hair: "LASERS TAKE TOO MUCH CHEMICAL FUEL PER SHOT TO BE WORTH IT WHERE WEAPONS REQUIRE TOO MANY SATELLITES TO BE ABLE TO TARGET QUICKLY AND MISSILES IN SPACE AREN'T REALLY BETTER THAN MISSILES ON THE GROUND. ON AND DEFLECTING ASTEROIDS IS EXPENSIVE, RISKY, EASY TO DETECT, AND PROBABLY KILLS EVERYONE. AND ALL OF THIS WAS TRUE WHEN YOU ASKED ME YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE. NOW CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE BUDGET INSTEAD OF SPACE WEAPONS?"
Seated man: "I DON'T WANNA!"
Caption below: "This is why I shouldn't be president."
Votey:
Panel 1:
Text (narration/continued dialogue): "OKAY BUT SAY WE BOUNCE THE LASERS OFF GIANT RELAY MIRRORS IN SPACE, THEN THE MIRRORS-"
Panel 2:
A man (the speaker) leans in with a grinning face.
Speech bubble: "NO!"
Alt text
Main comic, single panel: A frustrated man with wild upswept hair stands lecturing two seated men. In a long, exasperated speech he explains why space weapons are impractical: lasers take too much chemical fuel per shot, weapons need too many satellites to target quickly, missiles in space aren't better than missiles on the ground, and deflecting asteroids is expensive, risky, easy to detect, and probably kills everyone. He notes this was all true yesterday and the day before too, and pleads, "Now can we PLEASE talk about the budget instead of space weapons?" One of the seated men flatly replies, "I don't wanna!" A caption underneath reads: "This is why I shouldn't be president." The joke: the would-be president keeps fixating on space weapons and refuses to deal with the boring budget.
Votey (aftercomic), two panels: In the first, a voice continues pitching, "Okay but say we bounce the lasers off giant relay mirrors in space, then the mirrors-". In the second, a grinning man cuts him off with a loud speech bubble: "NO!"
Votey (aftercomic), two panels: In the first, a voice continues pitching, "Okay but say we bounce the lasers off giant relay mirrors in space, then the mirrors-". In the second, a grinning man cuts him off with a loud speech bubble: "NO!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.