wolves
Original: wolves on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (distraught, in a prehistoric setting): "THE WOLVES! THE WOLVES ATE OUR CHILD!"
Man (bearded caveman): "NO."
Panel 2:
Man: "WELL... I'LL SHOW THEM."
Panel 3:
Woman (enraged): "KILL THEM PAG! KILL! KILL!"
Man (calm, serious): "DEATH IS TOO GOOD FOR THEM. I HAVE OTHER PLANS."
Panel 4:
The man crouches down, speaking sweetly to a wolf: "HEY WOLFY WOLFY WOLFY! WHOOOO WANTS A TASTY BONE AND SOME SNUGGLES?"
Panel 5:
Caption: "FOUR-THOUSAND GENERATIONS LATER..."
Image: a pug.
Votey:
A pug lies on the ground. Text above it reads: "[wheezing]"
Woman (distraught, in a prehistoric setting): "THE WOLVES! THE WOLVES ATE OUR CHILD!"
Man (bearded caveman): "NO."
Panel 2:
Man: "WELL... I'LL SHOW THEM."
Panel 3:
Woman (enraged): "KILL THEM PAG! KILL! KILL!"
Man (calm, serious): "DEATH IS TOO GOOD FOR THEM. I HAVE OTHER PLANS."
Panel 4:
The man crouches down, speaking sweetly to a wolf: "HEY WOLFY WOLFY WOLFY! WHOOOO WANTS A TASTY BONE AND SOME SNUGGLES?"
Panel 5:
Caption: "FOUR-THOUSAND GENERATIONS LATER..."
Image: a pug.
Votey:
A pug lies on the ground. Text above it reads: "[wheezing]"
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic set in prehistoric times. Panel 1: a distraught woman cries to a bearded caveman, "The wolves! The wolves ate our child!" He flatly replies, "No." Panel 2: the man says, "Well... I'll show them." Panel 3: the woman screams, "Kill them Pag! Kill! Kill!" but the man calmly answers, "Death is too good for them. I have other plans." Panel 4: instead of revenge, the man crouches and coos sweetly at a wolf, "Hey wolfy wolfy wolfy! Whooo wants a tasty bone and some snuggles?" Panel 5, captioned "Four-thousand generations later...," shows the punchline result of all that snuggling and selective breeding: a pug. Votey: a pug lying on the ground with the text "[wheezing]" above it, the breed's labored breathing as the final ironic payoff of domesticating wolves into lapdogs.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.