lottery
Original: lottery on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a red-haired man, Steve, looking distraught; a woman beside him):
Woman: Steve! I just won the lottery!
Steve: I'm so sorry.
Panel 2 (Steve, hand raised, explaining):
Steve: The best research tells us that happiness is always relative to expectation.
Panel 3 (Steve continuing to the woman):
Steve: You'll be very happy for a short time, until you realize that no matter how nice your money is, it'll never make you as happy as you imagine it will.
Panel 4 (Steve gesturing):
Steve: Given that you got the money via lottery, you can't expect it to happen again. Therefore, the rest of your life will always be a disappointment.
Panel 5 (Steve, finger raised, hopeful):
Steve: Your only chance is to immediately start using that money on things that'll make the world better!
Woman: That's brilliant!
Panel 6 (titled "Shortly"; the woman in bed, sleeping/exhausted, head in hands or on a pillow):
Caption: Shortly
Woman (thinking/aside): Hello, hitman? Have Steve killed.
Votey:
(A woman with long hair, smiling/content, lying down.)
Woman: All those people said vengeance would never make me happy.
Woman: And now they're dead!
Woman: Steve! I just won the lottery!
Steve: I'm so sorry.
Panel 2 (Steve, hand raised, explaining):
Steve: The best research tells us that happiness is always relative to expectation.
Panel 3 (Steve continuing to the woman):
Steve: You'll be very happy for a short time, until you realize that no matter how nice your money is, it'll never make you as happy as you imagine it will.
Panel 4 (Steve gesturing):
Steve: Given that you got the money via lottery, you can't expect it to happen again. Therefore, the rest of your life will always be a disappointment.
Panel 5 (Steve, finger raised, hopeful):
Steve: Your only chance is to immediately start using that money on things that'll make the world better!
Woman: That's brilliant!
Panel 6 (titled "Shortly"; the woman in bed, sleeping/exhausted, head in hands or on a pillow):
Caption: Shortly
Woman (thinking/aside): Hello, hitman? Have Steve killed.
Votey:
(A woman with long hair, smiling/content, lying down.)
Woman: All those people said vengeance would never make me happy.
Woman: And now they're dead!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A woman excitedly tells a red-haired man named Steve that she just won the lottery; Steve responds "I'm so sorry." Over the next panels Steve lectures her that, according to research, happiness is relative to expectation: the money will only briefly make her happy, will never satisfy as much as she imagines, and since lottery wins can't be repeated, the rest of her life will be a disappointment. He concludes her only hope is to immediately spend the money making the world better, and she replies "That's brilliant!" In the final panel, labeled "Shortly," she lies in bed and says into a phone, "Hello, hitman? Have Steve killed." Votey (aftercomic): a contented woman lying down says, "All those people said vengeance would never make me happy. And now they're dead!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.