happy-3
Original: happy-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Narration: It was in autumn that the Happy Face arrived.
(A crowd of people stands on a hill amid autumn trees, looking up at an enormous yellow smiley face in the sky.)
Panel 2:
Narration: It smiled down upon all our failures.
(The giant Happy Face hovers over a city skyline.)
Panel 3:
Narration: It felt so good to see that Happy Face every day and every night.
(A red-haired person walks down a street, the Happy Face looming overhead.)
Panel 4:
Narration: So that when it asked if it could optimize us for happiness, we agreed at once.
Person (a figure standing on the street): "Basically any change would improve me!"
Panel 5:
Narration: It requires precisely 424 particles to create the minimum entity that can experience happiness and nothing else.
(A diagram of a small molecular/particle structure.)
Panel 6:
Narration: Earth was turned into countless duplications of the minimum set.
(The Earth, now a starry dark expanse, with a Happy Face beside it.)
Panel 7:
Narration: This was not because we are special. It was so that we would not be sad while the Happy Face was reconfiguring the sun and moon and planets.
(A crescent moon-like Happy Face in dark space.)
Panel 8:
Narration: The Happy Face is going to Alpha Centauri now, and from there to more systems.
(A small comet or projectile streaks across dark space.)
Panel 9:
Narration: And when the whole universe is happy, it will reconfigure itself.
(A pale moon/planet alone in dark space.)
Votey: An extreme close-up of the giant yellow Happy Face, filling the frame with its round face, single visible eye, and curved smiling mouth marked with small dots and creases. No text.
Narration: It was in autumn that the Happy Face arrived.
(A crowd of people stands on a hill amid autumn trees, looking up at an enormous yellow smiley face in the sky.)
Panel 2:
Narration: It smiled down upon all our failures.
(The giant Happy Face hovers over a city skyline.)
Panel 3:
Narration: It felt so good to see that Happy Face every day and every night.
(A red-haired person walks down a street, the Happy Face looming overhead.)
Panel 4:
Narration: So that when it asked if it could optimize us for happiness, we agreed at once.
Person (a figure standing on the street): "Basically any change would improve me!"
Panel 5:
Narration: It requires precisely 424 particles to create the minimum entity that can experience happiness and nothing else.
(A diagram of a small molecular/particle structure.)
Panel 6:
Narration: Earth was turned into countless duplications of the minimum set.
(The Earth, now a starry dark expanse, with a Happy Face beside it.)
Panel 7:
Narration: This was not because we are special. It was so that we would not be sad while the Happy Face was reconfiguring the sun and moon and planets.
(A crescent moon-like Happy Face in dark space.)
Panel 8:
Narration: The Happy Face is going to Alpha Centauri now, and from there to more systems.
(A small comet or projectile streaks across dark space.)
Panel 9:
Narration: And when the whole universe is happy, it will reconfigure itself.
(A pale moon/planet alone in dark space.)
Votey: An extreme close-up of the giant yellow Happy Face, filling the frame with its round face, single visible eye, and curved smiling mouth marked with small dots and creases. No text.
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic told as ominous narration over images of a giant yellow smiley face (the "Happy Face"). Panel by panel: a crowd on an autumn hillside looks up at an enormous smiley face in the sky as narration says it arrived in autumn; the face smiles down over a city, said to smile upon all our failures; a red-haired person walks a street beneath it, the face a comforting daily presence; a figure agrees to be optimized for happiness, saying "Basically any change would improve me!"; a particle diagram illustrates that it takes precisely 424 particles to make the minimum entity that can experience happiness and nothing else; Earth becomes countless duplications of that minimum set, shown as the planet in dark starry space beside the face; narration explains this is so we won't be sad while it reconfigures the sun, moon, and planets; a comet streaks through space as the Happy Face departs for Alpha Centauri and beyond; and a lone pale moon floats in darkness as narration says that once the whole universe is happy, it will reconfigure itself. The joke: cheerful cosmic benevolence is actually total annihilation, everything ground down into identical minimal happiness-particles. Votey: an extreme close-up of the same giant smiley face, its single eye and curved smile filling the frame with a faintly smug, knowing look. No text.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.