man-2
Original: man-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A blond man holding a Bible, gesturing emphatically. Blond man: "GOD DID NOT INTEND FOR MEN TO LAY AS ONE WITH OTHER MEN!"
Panel 2: A dark-haired man with a beard responds skeptically. Bearded man: "HOW DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW THAT?!"
Panel 3: The blond man, now with a confident raised eyebrow. Blond man: "IF GOD HAD INTENDED FOR US TO HAVE GAY SEX, HE WOULD HAVE MADE IT PAINFUL AND HUMILIATING, IN ORDER TO HUMBLE US."
Panel 4: The blond man, mouth wide, gesturing. Blond man: "SEX WITH TWO DONGS AT ONCE WOULD BE A FORBIDDEN TASTE OF THE AFTERLIFE!"
Panel 5: The bearded man looks uncertain and uncomfortable. Bearded man: "I... I CAN'T TELL WHICH OF US IS THE INTOLERANT ONE NOW."
Panel 6: The blond man, eyes closed, shouting cheerfully. Blond man: "MAKING OUT WITH OTHER MEN IS FINE, BY THE WAY."
Votey:
The blond man, with a strained, anguished expression, clutching his Bible. Blond man: "TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER. AND THAT'S WHY GOD WANTS US TO MAKE AS MANY BABIES AS POSSIBLE."
Panel 2: A dark-haired man with a beard responds skeptically. Bearded man: "HOW DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW THAT?!"
Panel 3: The blond man, now with a confident raised eyebrow. Blond man: "IF GOD HAD INTENDED FOR US TO HAVE GAY SEX, HE WOULD HAVE MADE IT PAINFUL AND HUMILIATING, IN ORDER TO HUMBLE US."
Panel 4: The blond man, mouth wide, gesturing. Blond man: "SEX WITH TWO DONGS AT ONCE WOULD BE A FORBIDDEN TASTE OF THE AFTERLIFE!"
Panel 5: The bearded man looks uncertain and uncomfortable. Bearded man: "I... I CAN'T TELL WHICH OF US IS THE INTOLERANT ONE NOW."
Panel 6: The blond man, eyes closed, shouting cheerfully. Blond man: "MAKING OUT WITH OTHER MEN IS FINE, BY THE WAY."
Votey:
The blond man, with a strained, anguished expression, clutching his Bible. Blond man: "TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER. AND THAT'S WHY GOD WANTS US TO MAKE AS MANY BABIES AS POSSIBLE."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A blond man clutching a Bible argues against gay sex with a skeptical bearded man. Panel 1, the blond man: "God did not intend for men to lay as one with other men!" Panel 2, the bearded man: "How do you think you know that?!" Panel 3, the blond man, confident: "If God had intended for us to have gay sex, he would have made it painful and humiliating, in order to humble us." Panel 4, the blond man, excited: "Sex with two dongs at once would be a forbidden taste of the afterlife!" Panel 5, the bearded man, unsettled: "I... I can't tell which of us is the intolerant one now." Panel 6, the blond man cheerfully: "Making out with other men is fine, by the way." The joke: the homophobe's own logic spirals into enthusiastic endorsement. Votey: the blond man, anguished and clutching his Bible, declares "To live is to suffer. And that's why God wants us to make as many babies as possible."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.