fixing-social-media
Original: fixing-social-media on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man: GOD... THE INTERNET HAS GOTTEN SO MEAN.
Woman (at computer): I THINK IT'S STRUCTURAL.
Panel 2:
Woman: IT USED TO BE THAT IF YOU WANTED TO EXPRESS YOURSELF, YOU HAD TO SIT DOWN AND COMPOSE YOUR THOUGHTS, THEN WRITE EVERYTHING OUT.
Panel 3:
Woman: THAT PROVIDES A NATURAL BARRIER BOTH TO LAZY JERKS AND TO NICE PEOPLE WHO ARE TEMPORARILY INFLAMED.
Panel 4:
Woman: WHAT IF WE BUILT THAT?! A TOTALLY NEW KIND OF SOCIAL MEDIA WHERE PEOPLE HAVE TO POST LONG THOUGHTS AND THEN CURATE ALL THE RESPONSES!
Panel 5 (caption: 47 VENTURE CAPITAL FUNDING ROUNDS LATER...):
The woman stands on a stage in front of an audience, beside a screen reading "diskussr".
Woman: TERRIBLE NEWS, EVERYONE. IT TURNS OUT WE INVENTED BLOGGING.
Votey:
A blonde person (the man from the main comic) looks blank/disappointed and says: I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A NEW DIRECTION WHERE WRITERS WRITE STUFF DOWN AND SEND IT TO PEOPLE, PRINTED ON PAPER.
Man: GOD... THE INTERNET HAS GOTTEN SO MEAN.
Woman (at computer): I THINK IT'S STRUCTURAL.
Panel 2:
Woman: IT USED TO BE THAT IF YOU WANTED TO EXPRESS YOURSELF, YOU HAD TO SIT DOWN AND COMPOSE YOUR THOUGHTS, THEN WRITE EVERYTHING OUT.
Panel 3:
Woman: THAT PROVIDES A NATURAL BARRIER BOTH TO LAZY JERKS AND TO NICE PEOPLE WHO ARE TEMPORARILY INFLAMED.
Panel 4:
Woman: WHAT IF WE BUILT THAT?! A TOTALLY NEW KIND OF SOCIAL MEDIA WHERE PEOPLE HAVE TO POST LONG THOUGHTS AND THEN CURATE ALL THE RESPONSES!
Panel 5 (caption: 47 VENTURE CAPITAL FUNDING ROUNDS LATER...):
The woman stands on a stage in front of an audience, beside a screen reading "diskussr".
Woman: TERRIBLE NEWS, EVERYONE. IT TURNS OUT WE INVENTED BLOGGING.
Votey:
A blonde person (the man from the main comic) looks blank/disappointed and says: I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A NEW DIRECTION WHERE WRITERS WRITE STUFF DOWN AND SEND IT TO PEOPLE, PRINTED ON PAPER.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A man complains to a woman sitting at a computer, "God... the internet has gotten so mean." She replies, "I think it's structural." Panel 2: The woman explains, "It used to be that if you wanted to express yourself, you had to sit down and compose your thoughts, then write everything out." Panel 3: "That provides a natural barrier both to lazy jerks and to nice people who are temporarily inflamed." Panel 4: Excited, she says, "What if we built that?! A totally new kind of social media where people have to post long thoughts and then curate all the responses!" Panel 5, captioned "47 venture capital funding rounds later...": She stands on a stage before an audience beside a screen labeled "diskussr" and announces, "Terrible news, everyone. It turns out we invented blogging." The joke: their revolutionary new platform is just blogging reinvented. Votey: A blank-faced blonde person pitches another "new direction" -- "writers write stuff down and send it to people, printed on paper" -- i.e. they've just reinvented physical mail/print.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.