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theorem

Original: theorem on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Title: A THEOREM:

List all math jokes in order of length.

Assume there is a largest math joke, L.

Create a new math joke J by appending to L that joke about the pirate who has a wheel on his crotch that is "drivin' me nuts!"

J is now larger than L, which is a contradiction.

Therefore the set of math jokes is infinite.

Now,

Assume a good math joke, M.

If M is a good joke, then it is funny.

If a joke is funny then everyone will know it.

If everyone knows a joke, the joke will not be funny.

If a joke is not funny, then it is not a good joke.

Therefore, if M is a good joke, M is not a good joke.

By contradiction, there are no good math jokes.

Therefore:

There are infinitely many math jokes and none of them are good.

QED

Votey:
It follows trivially that writing jokes for a living is a bullshit job.

Alt text

A single panel formatted like a hand-lettered mathematical proof titled "A THEOREM:". It reads: List all math jokes in order of length. Assume there is a largest math joke, L. Create a new math joke J by appending to L that joke about the pirate who has a wheel on his crotch that is "drivin' me nuts!" J is now larger than L, which is a contradiction. Therefore the set of math jokes is infinite. Then: Assume a good math joke, M. If M is a good joke, then it is funny. If a joke is funny then everyone will know it. If everyone knows a joke, the joke will not be funny. If a joke is not funny, then it is not a good joke. Therefore, if M is a good joke, M is not a good joke. By contradiction, there are no good math jokes. Therefore: There are infinitely many math jokes and none of them are good. QED. The joke is a mock proof using the infinitude-of-primes/diagonalization style of argument to conclude that math jokes are infinite yet none are funny. Votey (aftercomic): a single boxed line of text reading "It follows trivially that writing jokes for a living is a bullshit job."

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.