gregor
Original: gregor on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narration): One day, Gregor Samsa awoke to find he was eating Taco Bell.
Panel 2 (narration): His body felt strange and foreign.
Gregor (thought): It's like I'm only made of three ingredients...
Panel 3 (narration): When his mother saw him, with his "Nachos Supreme," she collapsed in horror.
Gregor: For 30 cents more, I added Fritos!
Mother: oh...
Panel 4 (narration): When his office manager saw him, with 64 ounces of iced "tea," he ran away, filled with disgust.
Gregor: We are not so unalike! I was once as you are now!
Panel 5 (narration): He stays on with his family, and they try to make space for him to live.
Father: Gregor, you can go anywhere but the kitchen. Please understand.
Panel 6 (narration): Though dwelling among kin, Gregor retreats ever deeper into the solitude of difference. His family are saddened, yet relieved by his diminishing presence.
Gregor: Hssssss!
Panel 7 (narration): In order to make up for Gregor's lost income, the family takes in boarders.
Boarder: Huh. Smells like... cumin... and emulsified cheese.
Gregor: Teehee! You are so very funny, sir. Can I show you the upstairs loft?
Panel 8 (narration): They soon uncover the dreadful secret.
Boarder: God in heaven... how does it talk?
Gregor: I have learned to use my cheeks like living chalupas, freeing my tongue to speak.
Panel 9 (narration): With no one renting their apartment, the Samsas become destitute.
Family member: It was his eating habit that drove us to poverty.
Grandmother: Actually, it's saving us a ton of money.
Panel 10 (narration): Just as they discuss how to get rid of Gregor, he suddenly dies.
Grandmother: I'm shocked, yet not the least bit surprised.
Panel 11 (narration): Unburdened, they feel happy. They go for a drive together in the country.
Person 1: I think there's a Starbucks out here.
Person 2: See, now that's REAL eating.
Votey:
Caption (Gregor): "I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself."
(A hunched, indistinct figure sits alone in darkness.)
Panel 2 (narration): His body felt strange and foreign.
Gregor (thought): It's like I'm only made of three ingredients...
Panel 3 (narration): When his mother saw him, with his "Nachos Supreme," she collapsed in horror.
Gregor: For 30 cents more, I added Fritos!
Mother: oh...
Panel 4 (narration): When his office manager saw him, with 64 ounces of iced "tea," he ran away, filled with disgust.
Gregor: We are not so unalike! I was once as you are now!
Panel 5 (narration): He stays on with his family, and they try to make space for him to live.
Father: Gregor, you can go anywhere but the kitchen. Please understand.
Panel 6 (narration): Though dwelling among kin, Gregor retreats ever deeper into the solitude of difference. His family are saddened, yet relieved by his diminishing presence.
Gregor: Hssssss!
Panel 7 (narration): In order to make up for Gregor's lost income, the family takes in boarders.
Boarder: Huh. Smells like... cumin... and emulsified cheese.
Gregor: Teehee! You are so very funny, sir. Can I show you the upstairs loft?
Panel 8 (narration): They soon uncover the dreadful secret.
Boarder: God in heaven... how does it talk?
Gregor: I have learned to use my cheeks like living chalupas, freeing my tongue to speak.
Panel 9 (narration): With no one renting their apartment, the Samsas become destitute.
Family member: It was his eating habit that drove us to poverty.
Grandmother: Actually, it's saving us a ton of money.
Panel 10 (narration): Just as they discuss how to get rid of Gregor, he suddenly dies.
Grandmother: I'm shocked, yet not the least bit surprised.
Panel 11 (narration): Unburdened, they feel happy. They go for a drive together in the country.
Person 1: I think there's a Starbucks out here.
Person 2: See, now that's REAL eating.
Votey:
Caption (Gregor): "I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself."
(A hunched, indistinct figure sits alone in darkness.)
Alt text
An eleven-panel SMBC comic parodying Kafka's 'The Metamorphosis,' in which Gregor Samsa wakes transformed not into an insect but into a person made of Taco Bell. Narration mimics Kafka's somber tone while the gag is fast food. Panel 1: Gregor in bed, narration says he awoke to find he was eating Taco Bell. Panel 2: he sits up; his body feels strange and foreign, 'like I'm only made of three ingredients.' Panel 3: his mother collapses in horror at his 'Nachos Supreme'; Gregor cheerfully notes that for 30 cents more he added Fritos. Panel 4: his office manager flees in disgust from Gregor's 64 ounces of iced 'tea'; Gregor calls out that they are not so unalike. Panel 5: his father tells him he may go anywhere in the house but the kitchen. Panel 6: Gregor retreats into shadow, hissing 'Hssssss!' as his family is relieved by his diminishing presence. Panel 7: the family takes in boarders; a boarder smells cumin and emulsified cheese while Gregor giddily offers to show him the loft. Panel 8: the boarder recoils, asking 'God in heaven, how does it talk?'; Gregor explains he uses his cheeks like living chalupas to free his tongue. Panel 9: now destitute, a relative blames Gregor's eating habit for their poverty, but the grandmother says it's actually saving them a ton of money. Panel 10: as they discuss getting rid of Gregor, he suddenly dies; the grandmother is shocked yet not the least bit surprised. Panel 11: unburdened and happy, the family drives through the country at sunset, spotting a Starbucks and declaring that 'real eating.' Votey: a lone hunched figure sits in total darkness beneath the caption, 'I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.