this-town
Original: this-town on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
First cowboy: This town ain't big enough fer the both of us.
Panel 2
Second cowboy: In order to guarantee we can both procure our desired goods 'n services without encounterin' one another, I estimate we need to triple the number of businesses.
Panel 3
First cowboy: Thanks to scalin' laws, we only need to double the population.
Panel 4
Second cowboy: I reckon we could revitalize the downtown area by financin' high density residential structures and improvin' public transportation.
Panel 5
First cowboy: I spose we oughta sit a spell with the county housin' board.
Panel 6
Second cowboy: In order to consider beginnin' the process, you need to fill out forms a thru a-97 and get signatures from the followin' people, livin' or dead, whereupon...
Panel 7 (title bar): AND SO...
(The two cowboys face off in the street and fire their revolvers at each other.)
Votey:
(One of the cowboys, mortally wounded and lying on the ground, speaks his dying words.)
Dying cowboy: Death before talking to an HOA.
First cowboy: This town ain't big enough fer the both of us.
Panel 2
Second cowboy: In order to guarantee we can both procure our desired goods 'n services without encounterin' one another, I estimate we need to triple the number of businesses.
Panel 3
First cowboy: Thanks to scalin' laws, we only need to double the population.
Panel 4
Second cowboy: I reckon we could revitalize the downtown area by financin' high density residential structures and improvin' public transportation.
Panel 5
First cowboy: I spose we oughta sit a spell with the county housin' board.
Panel 6
Second cowboy: In order to consider beginnin' the process, you need to fill out forms a thru a-97 and get signatures from the followin' people, livin' or dead, whereupon...
Panel 7 (title bar): AND SO...
(The two cowboys face off in the street and fire their revolvers at each other.)
Votey:
(One of the cowboys, mortally wounded and lying on the ground, speaks his dying words.)
Dying cowboy: Death before talking to an HOA.
Alt text
A six-panel webcomic drawn as a Western showdown between two mustached cowboys in hats. The dialogue, however, is all dry urban-planning and zoning bureaucracy. Panel 1, one cowboy: "This town ain't big enough fer the both of us." The second cowboy responds with escalating bureaucratic logic: to both get goods and services without crossing paths, they'd need to triple the number of businesses. The first replies that thanks to scaling laws they only need to double the population. They go on about revitalizing downtown with high-density residential structures and public transportation, sitting down with the county housing board, and filling out forms 'a thru a-97' with signatures from people living or dead. A title-bar panel reads "AND SO..." and shows the two cowboys standing in the dusty street firing their revolvers at each other in a classic duel. The joke: the tedious bureaucratic discussion ends in a gunfight rather than continuing. Votey (aftercomic): a loose, sketchy black-and-white drawing of one cowboy lying mortally wounded on the ground, delivering his last words in a speech bubble: "Death before talking to an HOA."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.