worse
Original: worse on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A father (a man with a mustache and glasses) addresses his two children.
Father: Bad news, kids.
Child: Are you getting a divorce?
Panel 2: Close-up of the father.
Father: Worse. We SHOULD get divorced, but we're staying together for the INCREDIBLY HOT HATE-FUELED SEX.
Panel 3: The mother, standing with the children.
Mother: Our emotional estrangement will create an ever more uncomfortable family life while making our bedroom encounters ever louder and shriller.
Panel 4: The two children look at the parents.
Child: Why are you telling us this?
Panel 5: Close-up of the mother.
Mother: I told your father we shouldn't. I knew it'd upset you.
Panel 6: The mother spanks the father (who bends over wearing shorts) with a pink object, addressing the children.
Mother: Thanks, Mom, I — But he's been so naughty.
Panel 7: The two children. The daughter looks away; the son speaks.
Son: Aaaand I'm getting my emancipation paperwork.
Votey: A black-and-white drawing of a woman with a strained, grimacing expression and a speech balloon.
Woman: You're a bad father. A bad bad father.
Father: Bad news, kids.
Child: Are you getting a divorce?
Panel 2: Close-up of the father.
Father: Worse. We SHOULD get divorced, but we're staying together for the INCREDIBLY HOT HATE-FUELED SEX.
Panel 3: The mother, standing with the children.
Mother: Our emotional estrangement will create an ever more uncomfortable family life while making our bedroom encounters ever louder and shriller.
Panel 4: The two children look at the parents.
Child: Why are you telling us this?
Panel 5: Close-up of the mother.
Mother: I told your father we shouldn't. I knew it'd upset you.
Panel 6: The mother spanks the father (who bends over wearing shorts) with a pink object, addressing the children.
Mother: Thanks, Mom, I — But he's been so naughty.
Panel 7: The two children. The daughter looks away; the son speaks.
Son: Aaaand I'm getting my emancipation paperwork.
Votey: A black-and-white drawing of a woman with a strained, grimacing expression and a speech balloon.
Woman: You're a bad father. A bad bad father.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A mustached father in glasses tells his two kids, "Bad news, kids." A child asks, "Are you getting a divorce?" The father replies, "Worse. We SHOULD get divorced, but we're staying together for the INCREDIBLY HOT HATE-FUELED SEX." The mother adds that their emotional estrangement will make family life more uncomfortable while making their bedroom encounters "ever louder and shriller." A child asks, "Why are you telling us this?" The mother says, "I told your father we shouldn't. I knew it'd upset you." In the next panel the mother is shown spanking the bent-over father with a pink paddle while saying (apparently quoting a flirtatious bedroom exchange), "Thanks, Mom, I — But he's been so naughty." The deadpan son concludes, "Aaaand I'm getting my emancipation paperwork." Votey: a rough black-and-white sketch of a grimacing woman saying, "You're a bad father. A bad bad father."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.