targeted-ads
Original: targeted-ads on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Caption: TARGETED MERCHANDISE ADS:
Man (looking at a laptop): WEIIIIIRD...
Laptop screen ad: BUY NOW!
T-shirt graphic text: COOL PEOPLE WENT TO NYU
Panel 2
Caption: ADVANCED TARGETED MERCHANDISE ADS:
Man (frowning at laptop): THE HELL?
Laptop screen ad: BUY NOW!
T-shirt graphic text: COOL PEOPLE WERE BORN NOVEMBER 1 1990 IN LINCOLNSHIRE COUNTY BY C-SECTION
Panel 3
Caption: THE HORRIBLE FUTURE:
Man (staring at laptop): PAPA?
Laptop screen ad: BUY NOW!
T-shirt graphic text: COOL PEOPLE'S BIOLOGICAL FATHER WAS ACTUALLY STAN DAVIES FROM ACROSS THE STREET
Votey:
The panel is filled top to bottom with rows of DNA-sequence letters (A, C, G, T) in handwritten capitals.
Caption at top: COOL PEOPLE HAVE THE GENOME:
The rest of the panel is dense lines of nucleotide letters, e.g. CCCCCGGGCCTCCTGCTGCTGCTGCTCTCCGGGGCCACGGCCACCGGCCCACCGGCCGAGACAGCGAGCATATGCAGGAAGCGGCAGGAAT... continuing for many rows.
Caption: TARGETED MERCHANDISE ADS:
Man (looking at a laptop): WEIIIIIRD...
Laptop screen ad: BUY NOW!
T-shirt graphic text: COOL PEOPLE WENT TO NYU
Panel 2
Caption: ADVANCED TARGETED MERCHANDISE ADS:
Man (frowning at laptop): THE HELL?
Laptop screen ad: BUY NOW!
T-shirt graphic text: COOL PEOPLE WERE BORN NOVEMBER 1 1990 IN LINCOLNSHIRE COUNTY BY C-SECTION
Panel 3
Caption: THE HORRIBLE FUTURE:
Man (staring at laptop): PAPA?
Laptop screen ad: BUY NOW!
T-shirt graphic text: COOL PEOPLE'S BIOLOGICAL FATHER WAS ACTUALLY STAN DAVIES FROM ACROSS THE STREET
Votey:
The panel is filled top to bottom with rows of DNA-sequence letters (A, C, G, T) in handwritten capitals.
Caption at top: COOL PEOPLE HAVE THE GENOME:
The rest of the panel is dense lines of nucleotide letters, e.g. CCCCCGGGCCTCCTGCTGCTGCTGCTCTCCGGGGCCACGGCCACCGGCCCACCGGCCGAGACAGCGAGCATATGCAGGAAGCGGCAGGAAT... continuing for many rows.
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic showing a man looking at increasingly invasive targeted t-shirt ads on his laptop, each captioned with a stage of escalation. Panel 1, captioned 'TARGETED MERCHANDISE ADS', shows a laptop ad reading 'BUY NOW!' with a t-shirt that says 'COOL PEOPLE WENT TO NYU'; the man says 'WEIIIIIRD...'. Panel 2, captioned 'ADVANCED TARGETED MERCHANDISE ADS', shows a t-shirt reading 'COOL PEOPLE WERE BORN NOVEMBER 1 1990 IN LINCOLNSHIRE COUNTY BY C-SECTION'; the man, unsettled, says 'THE HELL?'. Panel 3, captioned 'THE HORRIBLE FUTURE', shows a t-shirt reading 'COOL PEOPLE'S BIOLOGICAL FATHER WAS ACTUALLY STAN DAVIES FROM ACROSS THE STREET'; the man, stunned, says 'PAPA?' The joke is that ad targeting gets so precise it reveals secrets the customer didn't even know about himself. The votey (bonus panel) is captioned 'COOL PEOPLE HAVE THE GENOME:' and is filled entirely with dense handwritten rows of DNA-sequence letters (A, C, G, T), implying the ad now targets you by your exact genome.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.